Leah Chernikoff gets paid to write about how ugly people are.
I cannot express how deeply it offends me on a personal level that there are people in this country who get paid money to write articles for mainstream publications like this:
Looks like Elvis Presley’s daughter Lisa Marie, now 40, has had a few too many of those peanut-butter and deep-fried banana sandwiches her father famously enjoyed…Wearing a grungy yellow hoody and sweatpants, greasy hair pulled back, and no makeup to conceal her splotchy skin as she shoveled food into her bloated face, it’s hard to imagine the former bombshell that looked so much like her mother.
…[she] is rumored to be pregnant with fourth husband Michael Lockwood’s child, which might explain some of the dramatic weight gain. Hopefully Lisa Marie’s startling resemblance to her father at the end of his life is only a passing phase. The King died suspiciously of a heart attack at 42, just two years older than she is now, and weighed in at 250 pounds.
Here’s the accompanying photo, because today is Every Post Gets an Accompanying Photo Day:
Hey, just because her sunglasses are worth more than Leah Chernikoff’s journalism talent doesn’t mean she’s fat. She looks preggers to me but then, I don’t get paid to write five full paragraphs for a major paper about how disgusting a perfectly normal-looking woman MINDING HER OWN BUSINESS looks, so what would I know?
I’ve said it before but if anyone ever really wants to know why so many women have deepseated emotional hangups about their appearance, look no further than lines - written by other women ALWAYS - like “no makeup to conceal her splotchy skin as she shoveled food into her bloated face”.
Awww, girls are so sweet and nurturing! If we ruled the world there’d be no war or violence, only devastated psyches and eating disorders.
I’d like to punch Leah Chernikoff in the face. That is all.
Michelle tried to tell you America is mean.
March 5th, 2008 at 1:53 pmLord above, imagine my delight when every time I refresh this page there’s a new post!! That’ll get the blog traffic up no doubt - because I’ve already been here three times today!
OK, listen. I do have a life, it’s just that some days need more funny than others, ya know? And Rachel’s the perfect prescription!
March 5th, 2008 at 2:00 pmUh-oh. I’m 42 and weigh 250. Should I be ascared? Naw, my lifestyle is far less destructive than the King’s. I never super-size my combo meal. Still, it’s kind of an uncomfortable feeling to know that Elivs was my age when he died.
As for Lisa Marie, not a fan, but I find it amazing that it’s almost never a male “writer” who takes such mean jabs at a prominent woman who might have gained a few pounds. And yes she does look like she might be pregnant…so why be so snarky in the preceding paragraph, Leah? Mean, just mean.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:02 pmIs she actually overweight, or is her sweatshirt creating a “billow” effect?
March 5th, 2008 at 2:04 pmPaleomedic, TMZ.com is written by both men and women…and you’d be hard-pressed to find meaner spirits than there. Their office needs to be napalmed.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:06 pmWow Rachel, you are on a roll! ANOTHER post, awsomeness!
Those assholes on TMZ are unbelievable. I watched a bit last night (because something was off on the TiVo schedule and it was supposed to be another show) They are a bunch mean, untalented, nobodies who only make themselves important by passing judgement. I’m not a fan of celebrity (and sure some of them ask for it) but jeez, I cannot believe that some of the shit they pull is legal!
March 5th, 2008 at 2:29 pmI have equal hatred for the fawning celebrity sites that treat celebrities as objects of worship. Both ends of the spectrum are revolting. I think the one spawns the other, actually.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:31 pmGood grief. Yes, she does look slightly pregnant…but as someone who looks pregnant daily that’s not something you ask someone. Maybe her body is just naturally shaped with her belly sticking out so any weight makes it look pregnant (that’s me). I can’t even imagine having to live with celebrity like that and have people say such catty and disgusting things.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:31 pmNow, as to this Chernikoff excrescence…
She is either good looking or she is not good looking.
[Following me so far? It’s one of them binary deals.]
Now, if she is good looking (I found those editing knobs up there on the right…) then her insulting of unattractive persons is simply cruel.
[You see where I’m going with this.]
And if she is not good looking, then her insulting of equally unattractive persons is some form of masochism.
[The trap is set.]
Now, follow me closely here….
She is either attractive or she is not attractive.
Therefore, she is either cruel (a sadist) or she is a masochist.
[Let’s see her get outa that one.]
Maybe she will slip on a banana peel, smash her facial bones, and thereafter be called “dish face.”
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7425498
A reconstructive surgeon pal o’ mine says it’s very hard to fix.
[But back to me.]
Back when I was a flatulent lad [That’s right. I said flatulent.] in ColonPolyp [continuing the anal motif], Louisiana (we moved around a lot) we didn’t need no fancy critics the likes of Leah “Dish Face” Chernikoff.
We all wuz ugly.
If’n [contrived, I know] you walked up to a citizen—say Uncle Thibodaux—and said,
“Hey, Uncle T, you got your face on inside out”…
…he would laugh and pull a cigar out of the gaping hole where he oughta have had a nose.
And of course Granny Suggins had that third eye hanging off her left cheek. She called it Gus—the third eye that I was speaking of—and dressed it up in little hats.
Real festive ones on holidays. Easter was specially nice. Little eye ball wearing a bonnet.
“Jebus Crisp! W teh F is he on?!”
40 milligrams, brother.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:32 pmAfter some searching, I was able to locate a picture of Miss Chernikoff. She’s the one on the right.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pmLance, dude.
Dial back on the Oxycontin and Meth mixing.
It’s no good I tell you.
Yer fixin to start scaring the chidren.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:43 pmIf these people could only print a picture of a known person on a bad-hair-face-body-wardobe day if they were also required to print a picture of themselves with the same qualities, this would stop. Hmm…maybe that Fairness Doctrine thing isn’t such a bad idea, after all. Apply it to the nth degree.
Wait a minute. Didn’t we just spend a whole comment section talking about the looks of that AI gay boy? Ummm…someone help me here. I know I am missing some subtle distinction that makes it different. Make it all better and I will recant my blasphemous doubts.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:44 pmHonestly, people like Ms. Chernikoff have too much free time. Or no idea on how to use it constructively. And never outgrew their childhood bullying tendencies.
I want to look good and feel good about myself, but I’m not willing to put the time and energy into looking like Victoria Beckham. I did get a laugh out of how she coordinated her dress with her son’s red and black costume one time, though.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:56 pmTen bucks Ms Chernifkoff is no oil painting.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:18 pmAfter some searching, I was able to locate a picture of Miss Chernikoff. She’s the one on the right.
Posted by Cosmo on March 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
That was simply awesome, thank you.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:22 pmIt’s not just women. If you want to see an almost all-male crowd doing it, head on over to WWTDD. I’m ashamed to admit I read it pretty regularly, because they are HILARIOUS when it comes to batshit behavior, but the way they gleefully trash any woman with a bodyfat percentage above ten is… eye-opening.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:42 pmThis is way off topic, and I apologize, but can someone tell me what plugin Rachel is using for the live comment previews?
March 5th, 2008 at 3:47 pmEasy peasy.
Leah Chernikoff is making fun of Lisa Marie because she’s apparently slightly overweight. We’re making fun of the AI gay boy because he looks fucking ridiculous.
It’s like the difference between laughing at a handicapped person and laughing at a clown.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:53 pmHow is one writer writing “Lisa Marie looks fat” different from another writer saying “this ‘American Idol’ contestant looks like a drag queen”? I mean, other than one subject is a woman and the other is trying to look like a woman……
[(1) I’m not getting paid to write in a mainstream publication, (2) saying someone looks like a drag queen isn’t an insult - some people make a lot of money doing that and more power to them, and (3) I didn’t detail all his physical flaws because, in fact, he doesn’t have any. He is beautiful and a great singer…and would make a great drag queen. Bam. Love, Rachel]
March 5th, 2008 at 3:56 pmThanks, mighty - all better.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:58 pmHave y’all noticed that Sunny—the cute dog from Salem, MA, in the pic at the top—has a dry-toothed lip?
We never had that problem back home in UrineSample, Louisiana.
No teeth.
I’ve been f’ing off all day.
And I will continue f’ing off well into the night.
Spent awhile following the feral cat–Masterchief—around the backyard.
Kept looking back at me, cursing under her breath.
Leah Chernikoff never has a dry-toothed lip.
She has no lips.
Nonlipped
Bereft of lip.
At the low end of lippishness.
That’s how this is all connected up.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:07 pmI loved this:
Um - Priscilla has had so much plastic surgery that she doesn’t even look like herself anymore. And why is Lisa a “former bombshell” now - just cuz she gasp appeared in public looking like a normal person on a private day.
She does look pregnant - and who the fuck cares? She’s fat, she’s pregnant - it’s not front page news. People like this Leah person need to get a life, fast.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:15 pmShe’s not fat… she’s just channeling her Inner-Britney!
March 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pmRemember the Britnet imbroglio when she showed up in a bikini thing and people bitched that she was fat? She was NOT fat; she looked fine. Not quite fit enough to pull off that particular outfit, but still better than 99% of the people out there.
What a nasty bitch that woman is, and I rarely use that term for any female. It’s crap like that article that remind me of why some of my women friends in college preferred hanging out with us guys.
BTW, I think that Lisa Marie is pregnant and she still looks pretty good to me. Then again, I think pregnant women look good.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:21 pmyou know what’s sad? i’ve grown up under the whole thing where “girls should be skinny and hot and not necessarily in that order.” and guess the first thing i saw on the woman. her double chin. and then i thought, good lord, i hope i don’t get that. yes, i’m one of the many women who have body issues and i do a lot of projecting. it’s a noxious habit that i need to get rid of but it’s really hard. every time someone tells me that i’m tiny and don’t need to lose weight, instead of accepting their comment and thanking them for thinking so, i say “oh, no i’m really fat, seriously, let me show you my chub.” and it’s not me being an attention whore, i really do honestly have issues about that kind of thing.
ok, uh, going to shut up now.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:25 pmjjs: usually, when a woman does that sort of thing when I’ve said that sort of thing, I tell her just to shut up and learn how to accept a compliment gracefully. Learn that! It’s an art.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:42 pmSo Lisa Marie may have gained a little extra avoirdupois. If she feels comfortable with it, and her husband feels good with it, wtf why should it matter to anybody else? And why does anybody pay any attention to some snippy bitch like chernikoff (if they do)?
Maybe it’s because when people who have body issues themselves see someone who used to be excruciatingly beautiful looking not quite so wonderful, they can jump on the “how the mighty have fallen” bandwagon and feel so much better about themselves without actually having to do anything for themselves.
bill, i’m trying. it’s harder than you think, i swear! trying to undo about 18 years of thinking rather unhealthily about oneself is a bit more complicated than one might think. just sayin.
i think lisa marie looks fine, better than that cat lady. now that face is made of nightmares.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:04 pmIsn’t she the one that was once “married” to “Michael Jackson?”
After an experience like that, I don’t think there’s enough junk food in the world to put my worldview back to rights.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:16 pmIt must be the Thetans!!!
/Fuck her, she’s a Scientologist. Needs moar Xenu, less Tom C.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:58 pm//Chernikoff is still an asshole
Oh, the anti-religious zealots have shown up again.
Whether overweight or pregnant, what difference does it make? The extra skin on the chin and around the face indicate weight gain but then, many people start gaining weight around 40 or thereabouts.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:54 amAnti-religious? Do you mean me? LOL.
Nope, just anti-cult.
Anyway, LMP sure looks pregnant to me in that picture. I guess all women are “fat” once we get pregnant, by Chernikoff’s standards. Charming.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:47 amOMG that is effin’ funny.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:23 pmEh, maybe women get paid more often to throw shit at other women because of how they look; but I can guarantee you that plenty of guys dissect women’s appearance in private or among their buddies.
I’ve been “buddies” with some guys I’d just hang out with. If we’d go to a movie, one of them would declare (for example) that such-and-such actress’s breasts weren’t large enough for a man to remember her by. Or else, if we’d be out chatting over coffee, they’d practically break their necks to ogle some other woman walking by (especially one with big breasts); I guess that since I wasn’t a girlfriend, I didn’t merit refraining from such behavior.
While growing up, I took plenty of shit from both males and females for whatever the hell they didn’t like about the way I looked growing up, or even now… too fat, too tall, too fucking intelligent, too this, too that, tits too small, feet too big, whatever the hell.
Hell, when I was trying to date off the internet, there were even big guys who wouldn’t look at a woman who was more than XX amount tall, or who weighed more than X pounds… even if I could point out to them that I was a lot less overweight than their previous wife, who was XX pounds and only 4′10″ tall.
And I’ve also heard men comment with glee that so-and-so is really starting to show her age… like they’re getting back at her for something or other.
Maybe it’s just that most men don’t get paid to write snarky comments, but it seems to me that plenty of them say them.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:17 amI hate people. They suck.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:13 pmwRitErsbLock, I feel that way about people quite a few days out of the year. That’s why I like critters so much. Even cats, with all their attitude farming, don’t compare to the sheer snarkiness of humans.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:01 pmPerhaps one of the reasons why women get so verbally abusive is that most of ‘em can’t beat the shit out of whichever adult is bothering them, unlike many guys. So… instead they cut with words. Just sayin’.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:04 pm