Stupid criminal of the day.
I love it when bad people do stupid things to get themselves busted.
A couple who allegedly planted live worms in a restaurant entree to scam a free meal have been arrested and charged with conversion.
Tiffany Vance of Merrillville and her dinner date, Christopher Egnatz of St. John, tried to make a scene Tuesday night after dining at Applebee’s, but it didn’t play out as they planned.
Servers at the crowded restaurant let the couple walk out on a $57 meal after Vance loudly complained she had found worms wriggling in her salad after the two had almost finished eating, a police report states.
But Vance left behind her purse, with a plastic container of maggot-like bee moth worms inside when she and Egnatz left.
A waitress searching for identification in the purse found the container and called police. As a police officer was taking a report a few minutes later, Egnatz returned, looking for the purse.
If I were in charge of the world, I would make their punishment eating the worms. Shit like this gets restaurants closed down and people could have lost their jobs if that dumbass hadn’t forgotten her purse. So these two clowns should have to eat one worm each. That is my edict. Make it so.
Why stop at just one?
March 6th, 2008 at 6:26 pmI agree with tankascribe. They don’t call them “meal worms” for nothing.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:32 pmOne worm each? How about the death penalty? If you are so amoral and that you’re willing to destroy someone else’s business to save 50 bucks, you don’t deserve to live. Period.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:36 pmOne time back home….oh, never mind. This Louisiana shit is getting old..
“Yeah, no kidding!”
“Drop it, will ya?”
Okay, then….
Once time I ordered a nice plate of worms at TGI Elongated Soft-bodied Invertebrates, and I found some salad in it.
“W teh F,” I said to no one in partic. “Did I order salad with my annelids?”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annelids
The wait staff looked on helplessly as I baiting my hook with a pickle.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:43 pmlance, I do not know what to make of you! You leave me puzzled….
March 6th, 2008 at 7:04 pmI’d like to see a list of crimes and their punishments under the Empress Rachel justice system. Anybody got any suggestions?
March 6th, 2008 at 7:04 pmWhenever I find myself into series of rants, I stop, and declare to the mocking ether of indifference, “they just won’t let me run the world!”
I see now that it’s a universal construct within the Alpha female of our species.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:05 pmI hear that! I picture the inside of Lance’s brain like the inside of a bee hive, with lots of buzzing thoughts zooming around at lightning speed.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:06 pmJoan, I always say “When I’m planetary dictator…”
March 6th, 2008 at 7:07 pmJail or eat a worm? Sheesh, that’s a no brainer. I would much prefer 90 years confinement be given these thieves.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:08 pmCan I counter with Stupid Court Case of the Day?
Looks like the whole world learned the OJ lesson.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:08 pmSee what I mean? But why stop at planetary?
March 6th, 2008 at 7:08 pmHow could they even tell there were worms in the food? They were at Applebees.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:18 pmZing!
Two Dogs will be here all weekend… thank you… try the veal.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:22 pmWait, they were charged with what?
Were they trying to convert their salads to Catholicism?
March 6th, 2008 at 7:42 pmThat’s ok, Anarchybunny, he has that effect on all of us..
March 6th, 2008 at 7:45 pm(but we still love him)
heh
My initial reaction was why stop at one worm, but I see I was TOO SLOW.
When you are the Galactic Mistress you need to appoint Judge Joe Brown (yes the one from tv) to be in charge of the penal code. When he was a judge in Memphis, he sentenced some guy who was convicted of burglary by forcing him to let the victim into his home to take whatever he wanted. I pretty much worship him for that.
http://www.wchstv.com/synd_prog/joebrown/
March 6th, 2008 at 7:47 pmAsk and ye shall receive. I made a list. It’s a coy stunt by yours truly to earn Rachel’s good graces and get in her blogroll… and only her blogroll. I mean that.
I don’t know why I qualified that. I’m in rare form today.
Point being - visit… add to the list. Can we do this? Yes we can!
March 6th, 2008 at 8:01 pmExcellent compendium of Lucasite punishments, Oatworm! It’s the beginning of the Lucasian Code of Justice.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:13 pmanarchybunny - I don’t know why lance puzzles you. He sounds perfectly normal and well-adjusted to me. And he seems to be coping well with life in the outside world.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pmWorms! It’s what’s for dinner!
March 6th, 2008 at 9:08 pmYears ago there was a guy who worked at a bar I frequented. I couldn’t stand him. I thought he was a dumb jackass.
Turns out I was right. One day he decided to rob a bank, then he dropped his wallet while running away. The police showed up at his house shortly after he got home.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:50 pmZOMG! that is like 3000 feet from my house, and Egnatz is my exe’s doctor’s kid. wow, leave home for two days and see what happens!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:15 pmHow about one for every $ of their bill? Each? And if they’re a triumphant 750 lbs they get to eat their weight a la Monty Python’s Meaning of Life?
You have correctly categorized this under awesomeness.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:16 pmI ate chocolate worm truffles once, (I was doing a story at a Wildfood’s Fesitival, it was under duress). They tasted like chocolate mud, and the inside of my mouth went all stingy. I do not recommend them.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:23 pmWith sufficient steel reinforcing rods, sheet aluminum, and a bit of paint, I’ll bet you could make a sculpture of him, but then what would you do with it?
Incidentally, I just returned from dinner at Applebees this evening. Small world, huh?
March 6th, 2008 at 11:07 pmI think we should make them snort the worms!
March 6th, 2008 at 11:39 pmI was poor poor poor as a kid. In fact, didn’t have a real bed ’til college - which I paid for myself, with no thanks to Michelle Obama. (Before that I slept in a fold-out couch with 2 brothers - and later - all through middle and high school - on a $10 mattress on the plywood floor). Somehow I’m still proud of my country.
Anyway - there was a point in my childhood - when I ate worms as a way to get a buck or two from friends who dared me - and then got grossed out when I delivered the goods. Somehow I’m still proud of my country.
They didn’t taste like much. (Worms, that is, not the friends). But the worms have little “cuticles” that grab onto your inner cheeks while you’re chewing and that’s kinda gross. But they go down eventually. Worms are like tenacious and rebellious peanut butter. You just gotta show ‘em who’s boss, that’s all.
People, realize. This is the food chain. When the apocolypse comes and you are all starving, I’ll be the healthy guy in your neighborhood. You’ll ask “How come you look so tan, beefy, and healthy?” And I’ll respond…”worms…like…duh..” Be proud of America. We have very good, feisty, and nutritious worms.
Anyone who tries to sue a restaurant for cash, on these kind of trumped up and fakery charges is a complete fraud and moron - and I’ll happily provide a defense. I prefer restaurants to be protected from these opportunistic goons. I’ll get my own worms, thank you, but only when we run out of ribs.
Can someone (an expert) tell us what society in history ever protested extra protein?
March 6th, 2008 at 11:49 pmi remember reading this one book called “how to eat fried worms” and that was a bit much. i just googled those fly worm bee things and EWWWWWW. i loathe insects and bugs. except ladybugs, but even then those little shits will make your fingers stink. and butterflies are too delicate to touch. wusses. inchworms are probably the most fun, because you can watch them climb over things for hours. but then again, i’m easily amused.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:57 pmAye aye captain Lucas!
March 6th, 2008 at 11:59 pmI forgot to add -
So eating worms is no punishment at all. Or, at least, very little.
Unless a whole pound of worms equals a dollar.
Or maybe a pound of worms equals a Pound, which is about 2 bucks, for your more compassionate types.
*sigh*
I expected much more Draconian measures from Rachel the Overlord.
My advice - make it hurt. Or make it repulsive and barfable times ten.
Barfable times ten. I coined it.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:01 amNew bilge at the **New and Improved** website.
http://educationation.org
You know, the one that’s NOT over there on the right, with all the kids who were asked to the sock hop in junior high.
Because why would the heiress of the LucasMart Empire care about the website of a po’ boy from TubalLigation, Louisiana?
So what if he (the aforementioned po’ boy) grunts and sweats all night working on the “new and improved webs….”…
“Lance!”
“You uttered, Madam?”
“Are you EVER going to finish?”
“Soon, my Queen. Soon. Could you, maybe, move now and then so I don’t see myself as a necrophiliac?”
“Okay. That’s it!! Take that worm of yours [I knew I would work it in!], and go sleep downstairs.”
“Worm? Would you call Fred the Friendly Fire Chief a worm?”
“Yes. I would. A midget worm, even.”
“Cruelty, thy name is Lucretia sans Souci de Boyle. Okay, baby, baaaaby, baaaaaaaby, I’m leaving. I’ve got to ramble. I can hear it calling me the way it used to do…..”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSZcTs00ZGg
March 7th, 2008 at 12:26 amLance, I feel your pain. As a show of solidarity, and certainly not as a misguided attempt to get Rachel’s attention, I have created a new element to my blog titled “Blogs Rejected By Rachel”. It shall have a link of every blog that our dear, sweet, fearless, gun-toting, dog loving leader refuses to add to her blogroll that is kind enough to bring itself to my attention.
I don’t do this because I’m an attention whore. I do it because I care. Or because I’m an attention whore. Then again, I’m a guy… so I guess I’m an attention gigolo. Let’s hope so, anyways.
Viva La Rachelution!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:36 amHysterial, Oatworm!
I love the Woody Allen schtick, where you set it up and then change direction.
“I don’t do this because I’m an attention whore. I do it because I care. Or because I’m an attention whore.”
Got me laughing again.
And again.
Yeah, good. A blog of R. Lucas rejects.
Also, maybe a revenge blog.
The Rakel Luksis smells kinda funny blog. Not funny as in Ha Ha. The other kind of funny. As in fermented.
[May need a bit of editing.]
Out…
March 7th, 2008 at 3:11 amLOL That’s Great! Although your casual observational talent did gross me out. I can’t even pick my own meal from the fish tank at those “lively fresh” resturants. As for finally getting a bed in college, you did it backward. See, to prove how awesome and hip and non-materialistic they are, college kids living off campus and in student ghettoes will sleep on third hand-me-down futons mattresses on plywoods in the middle of their awesome rental homes, foresaking their queen-size childhood beds in their parents’ houses.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:26 amWhen he was a judge in Memphis, he sentenced some guy who was convicted of burglary by forcing him to let the victim into his home to take whatever he wanted.
Beth, thanks for making me aware of Judge Joe Brown. That made me laugh out loud.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:54 amKat - I take it you don’t do sashimi.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:51 pmI think we need to bring back the use of the stocks in the public square for people who commit stupidity of this degree. A weekend of public humiliation is worth a month in the county lockup. Plus we get to throw wormy apples at them.
Yes, they should be made to finish their salads. Personally I can’t even face the worm after getting the bottom of the tequila bottle!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pmThe worm doesn’t hurt, but the fishook…
You didn’t think Rachel would let them off with an ungarnished worm, did you?
March 7th, 2008 at 2:14 pmFreedomLover, actually I love sashimi but don’t do it often because it’s expensive and I let 1.5 parasites in human form leech off me. No, they have to be DEAD and looking nothing like their original self by the time it shows up on my dinner plate. Worms holding on to your inner cheek while you’re trying to chew and swallow goes way beyond the search for extra protein, or that extra dollar.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:57 pmThis post is the reason I HATE some Americans. Lazy, immoral, lying, trashy a-holes! Are people too stupid to understand that everytime they do shit like that, prices go up for the rest of us? If everyone just paid for shit like they are supposed to companies wouldn’t have to spend millions of dollars a year battling scumbags like those two.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:31 amTracey,
June 9th, 2008 at 7:56 amWelcome to the bankruptcy life of America. One nation, for which it owes, under deficit, only divisible by interest, bankruptcy and free stuff, for all.