Sadly, their nuts remained un-punched.
It can only be because this happened before I posted my edict declaring yesterday Punch A Hippie In The Nuts Day.
Six people were arrested at Holy Name parish’s auditorium Sunday after disrupting an Easter mass to protest the Iraq war.
The group—whose female and male members identified themselves as Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War—stood up at the beginning of Cardinal Francis George’s homily and shouted their opposition to the conflict, which marked its fifth anniversary last week. As security guards and ushers tried to remove them from the service, the demonstrators squirted fake blood on themselves and parishioners dressed in their Easter finery.
The red substance, which one protester later described as “stage blood,” initially drew gasps and a few terrified yelps from the 600 worshipers at the mass. The shock, however, quickly transformed into anger as people booed the six while they were escorted from the parish auditorium.
To absolutely no surprise, the age range of these worthless assholes is 18 to 25. Being so young, they likely have never had a good solid beating. I get the feeling that if it hadn’t been at church, some of the parishioners would have delivered that much-needed beating, and Mother Mary would have rejoiced.
What makes these moron protestors so amusing is that they seem to truly believe that behaving like angry chimpanzees will actually have any effect whatsoever other than making people hate them. I can just picture their thought process: “Hey maaan, let’s go teach Amerikkka a lesson! Let’s throw fake blood on people sitting in church so that the fake war will stop! Yeaaahhhh!”
Uh-huh. Bushitler McWarmonger will hear about this, realize he was wrong, and start bringing the troops home, which will result in peace throughout the Middle East as they leave a power vacuum for the next tyrant. I know it worked on me! I already called Rupert and told him not to bother with all the training; he won’t have to go to Baghdad because the fuckin’ hippies are out there disrupting church services. He’s really grateful for their hard work on his behalf and I expect him to be home within the week.
Don’t forget about the real reason they do it, and why they chose Holy Name Cathedral. Publicity: specific ally TV news coverage.
Holy Name is the seat of Chicago’s Catholic Archbishop. As such, all of the local networks (5, or 7 to 8 if you include the Spanish-language networks) have crews there on every major Catholic holiday. These idiots knew they would receive at least local (if not National) coverage for their tantrum, and the local guys delivered, again and again and again. I went to dinner with my family at a restaurant kitty-corner from the Holy Name, and the news trucks were outisde until well after after 6 PM.
To the parishoners’ credit, they may have been somewhat sympathetic to the “schoolgirls” cause before their so-called protest, but now they are re-examining the entire anti-war movement. For those of you who saw the TV coverage, the main Cathedral space is closed for repairs to the ceiling, so a much smaller space in the adjacent community center is being used for services. To say it’s small is to engage in understatement: they probably sprayed fake blood over dozens of people in the Easter Best. They are lucky real blood didn’t spill after that!
March 24th, 2008 at 8:20 amAlso consider that on Easter, the congregation is going to be less inclined to sully the Holy Day with violence, because of the specific events it is celebrating. I wouldn’t wonder if that influenced their decision to go on that day as well.
March 24th, 2008 at 8:44 amWell Happy Easter. Just when I thought nothing could possibly make me dislike anti-war protesters more they go and do something like this.
I am Catholic and live in Chicago. My greatest regret for this Easter is that I wasn’t there to help ‘escort’ these clowns out of Mass.
You will note that they didn’t go to a Mosque for Friday prayers and protest. They go to the Catholic Cathedral (actually auditorium because the cathedral is being repaired). We are fairly easy targets - what’s the worst we will do… pray for our enemies.
A friend who sings in the choir said that Cardinal George handled it incredibly well. She said that some of her fellow singers (non-Catholic) were VERY impressed by Cardinal George’s handling of this and it left them more positively disposed towards the Church. I am guessing that was not the intention of the protesters.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:01 amahhh crap! Another hippie beating missed due to this deployment (but only 85 more days before I return to the land of open season on hippies). For some reason I can’t find any hippies over here…I guys the fact that it is already climbing to 100 and the lovely sand/dust I inhale everyday has discouraged them from visiting. Nice and safe “protests/temper tantrums” in a church makes them very brave, much braver than being over here surrounded by homicidal/suicidal relegion of pieces practioners.
Rachel please grant me an extended punch in the nuts license.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:08 amJesus would have clocked them. If he ran the money changers out of the temple because they were disrespecting his Father’s house, I think he would have made short work of these guys.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:09 amIdiots. Complete and total idiots.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:17 amGood point, Marla. There’s no reason “Christian” needs to be synonymous with “pansy”.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:17 amPrecisely, Marla.
By the way, yesterday I bagged the equivalent number of hippie punchings that we’re allowed for dove in Texas: 12.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:20 amI’ve been watching John Adams on HBO, which every right-thinking American person should do. In the first episode, we witnessed an English tax collector being stripped, tarred, feathered and ridden out of town on a rail.
I beseech the planetary overlord to bring back tar and feather for unruly hippie protesters.
On another note, Paul Giamatti is simply great as our irascible hero, but I can’t stop thinking about John Adams petulantly shrieking “I am NOT drinking any fucking merlot!”
Explanatory link
March 24th, 2008 at 9:35 amActually, I think every day should be punch a hippy in the crotch day.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:03 amAGH! RACHEL!!! Go back to your old title bar, PLEASE!!! That dog looking like he/she is about to bite someone combined with your colophon was priceless!
March 24th, 2008 at 10:10 amCarbo,
Hah!
I’m loving that John Adams show. I got goose bumps several times during episode two as I watched the process of declaring independence. I’m a visual person, so seeing these excellent actors bring life to these events is nothing short of breathaking.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:31 amHallmark makes belated birthday cards, therefore I believe we are all entitled to issue belated nut punching. Ah ‘belated,’ such a nice sounding word for lazy ass procrastinator.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:35 amAh, the joys of publicity whoredom. It’s because of people like them that, whenever I see people my age or younger get excited about a political candidate, I make it a point to vote for the other guy.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:48 amBTW: Did everyone see the cover article for the latest issue of The Onion? Of couse, it’s my favorite non-serious interpretation of Obama’s so-called speech on race.
Black Guy Asks Nation for Change
March 24th, 2008 at 10:52 amwtf? kids these days. i’m as old as the oldest one in that group. for that, i am ashamed that young people are so fucking stupid to do this. tantrums only work on two year olds and even then, you just need to ignore them enough and invest in some good 33 dB earplugs.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:08 amYou are absolutely right marla.
I like to remember that when people say “what would Jesus do” a valid option is to freak out and start flipping over tables. My liberal atheist friends like to tell me I should follow Jesus and
Hippies like to think that Jesus was a hippy like him. I disagree. He was a hard ass when necessary. I think that giving a pounding to idiots who interrupt Cardinal George’s homily is necessary.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:25 ammary martha - it reminds me of a billboard I saw once - one of those with the big black background with white words we’ve all seen - Bible belt stuff.
‘I’m coming back. And this time, no more mister nice guy.’ - Jesus.
Jesus was meek and mild when appropriate, but not adverse to kicking butt when called for.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:32 amI’m going to start a petition to get a “hippie exception” to the assault and battery laws inserted into the penal code. I’m in Texas, so I expect many, many signatures.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:49 amI spent all day looking for hippies.
I looked hither.
I looked thither.
Covering all possible combos of /th/ I went to Toy “R” Us to see if they had any thitherth.
[They have only one toy.]
[Go ahead. Say it. You know you want to. Stupid, huh?]
I looked at a zither.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFz79SBnuk8
I looked yon.
[I need some sun.]
Zero hippies.
My violent urges were so strong that I kicked myself in the nuts.
[And that's not easy to do.]
Then I remembered, or recalled, that I had no nuts.
Nutless.
Bad idea when you are in Gaza.
Then you are….. that’s right, nutless in Gaza.
http://sorryalltheclevernamesaretaken.blogspot.com/2007/02/eyeless-in-gaza.html
Ex wife got them as part of the settlement “agreement” many years ago.
[I didn't "agree" to $hit. I was coerced, I tell you. Coerced.]
She also got my cross bow and chain saw.
Why would she want these items?
To irritate me. That’s why?
Maybe I’ll kick her in the nuts.
Hippy freak.
March 24th, 2008 at 12:08 pm“The group—whose female and male members identified themselves as Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War—stood up at the beginning of Cardinal Francis George’s homily…”
How apporopriate that both the female and male members would call themselves schoolgirls without irony. Doesn’t sound like there are any nuts to be punched in the entire worthless lot!
March 24th, 2008 at 12:33 pmI am all for kicking a hippie in the nuts. I think this would qualify as a big steel toed kick in the nuts to Minnesota’s own little terrorist/hippie. Kathleen Soliah/Sarah Jane Olson, of Symbionese Liberation Army fame. Long story short, attempted murder of police officers in the 70’s, bank robbery/murder as well, on the run for over 2 decades, caught in MN not long before 9/11 and convicted of several felonies. In a “nut”shell, she was sentenced to 14 years, served 6 and released from prison in California last week, then on her way outta town was re-arrested because they had determined that she was released a year early. DOH! Classic.
http://www.startribune.com/local/stpaul/16944051.html
Couldn’t happen to a nicer person IMHO, this next year in the jug is going to suck for her. Let her rot.
March 24th, 2008 at 1:29 pmHey, 18-25 is plenty old enough to have recieved a good old-fashioned beating. I’m 26 and my mother did a very good job of beating sense into me when I had none, especially when it comes to misbehavin’ in Church…blame their parents, not their age.
March 24th, 2008 at 2:00 pmAll hippies should be killed twice.
March 24th, 2008 at 3:28 pmI thought that this ball pruning knife would be perfect as a supplement for nut punching, then I realized it was just the seller’s name. Oh well. I guess there is a market out there — who will make the perfect tool for punching these tools in the nuts?
March 24th, 2008 at 3:29 pmIt’s all class with this crew. I wonder if they’d do this sort of protest at an NRA convention? Heh heh…if they did, it might cure Chuck Heston’s Alzheimer’s right quick as he reached for his sidearm knowing instinctively what to do. Heh.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
March 24th, 2008 at 5:40 pmBeing so young, they likely have never had a good solid beating.
Do you think the Cardinal managed to throw a little “spare the rod, spoil the child” into the rest of his sermon?
March 24th, 2008 at 7:25 pmIf they really wanted to make some kind of statement, why the hell don’t these candy-asses pick a fight with the Patriot Riders? Instead of going places and bothering people who won’t kick 7 kinds of shit out of them.
March 24th, 2008 at 9:48 pmdamn pu$$ies.
Who do these assclowns think they are, anyway? Westboro Baptist “Church?”
Frankly, if I were a big pro-war type, I’d love to hire people to do this sort of “protest” to make the other side look bad. ISTR that G. Gordon Liddy loved that sort of tactics.
March 25th, 2008 at 12:32 am