Britain, seriously. You’re out of control over there.
I can’t stop. Just can’t. Every time I see another one of these articles from a British paper that looks EXACTLY like something you’d read on the Onion, it’s all I can do not to break my laptop in the rush to post about it. I think I might be getting obsessed but this is better entertainment than you can buy.
And this one (via the Corner) isn’t even about Muslim rage or the prohibition against defending oneself or how the entire country is turning queer. It’s about actual gays, and it’s a doozy. Especially the headline, which is “Plans to clear undergrowth from gay sex spot branded discriminatory.” Maybe it’s just me because I’m still tired, but did anyone else read that and get a mental image of a gay man waxing his balls and butt?
A council has been accused of discriminating against homosexuals over plans to clear undergrowth from a notorious gay cruising spot.
Bristol City Council wants to prune bushes and remove cover from an area known as the Downs to improve the landscape and encourage rare wildlife.
But its own gay rights group has opposed the move, claiming that cutting back the bushes was “discriminating” to homosexual men who used the area for late night outdoor sex known as dogging.
The area of the Downs sits at the top of the Avon Gorge, in the upmarket Clifton suburb of Bristol and is home to various species of rare plants and wildlife. But councillors said it had become overgrown over the past 20 years.
Thick bushes cover the secluded area next to a street known Circular Road which has become a mecca for gay men and couples cruising for sex.
The area hit the headlines last year when four firemen who disturbed an outdoor gay sex session were reprimanded and fined after they shone torches into the undergrowth.
…during the consultation period last year “equality” concerns were raised by the council’s Rainbow Group - an action group of lesbian, gay and bisexual council employees - about the threat to gay rights.
A report on the plans states: “As part of the consultation, concerns were expressed by the council’s Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Group (and a small number of other consultees) that this action was potentially discriminating against gay and bisexual men, whose activities on this part of the Downs were objected to by other members of the local community and Downs users.”
Council officials have been forced to consult with the police and gay rights group the Terence Higgins Trust to ensure there was no discrimination.
Really. That’s what the article says, I’m not making it up. Gays like to go “dogging” (I’m offended by that term! Sunny and Maggie demand an apology!) in public, and they need the shrubbery for…um…privacy.
And officials are giving them the time of day, that’s the part I really love. Because it would be a THREAT TO GAY RIGHTS if you made it harder for them to bone each other where children may come across them. I just don’t think I’ve ever beheld a more perfected set of priorities in my entire stupid bigoted American life.
This reminds me of some of the excuses and abuses offered when we do park sweeps to discourage open gay brood-daylight humping in our city parks. “We’re not hurting anybody! We’re not ashamed, you fascist bastards!”
Never mind that such stings are usually sparked by multiple calls from outraged parents about multiple incidents seen as they walked with their families.
And they may not be ashamed, but that police web page of people arrested for public sex violations, complete to mug shots, sure does seem to have had a discouraging effect.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:42 pmI had to read pretty far down in the article to find out that it actually is illegal to have sex in public in England.
I wish I was there, I’d go masturbate naked on the front lawn of Buckingham Palace and when they arrest me I’d whine about my rights as an autosexual.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:48 pmIs that autosexual or monosexual–or are they synonyms? I get so confused.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:51 pmNot sure about the terminology, but I’m pretty sure I could get a special interest group going and hire a lobbyist.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:59 pmChrist on a fucking pogo stick! Have they lost their minds over there??
July 10th, 2008 at 4:00 pmFrom what I understand, ‘dogging’ is just slang for public sex in general in the UK, not specifically limited to homosexual sex.
The insistence of gay rights groups that public sex acts are valued traits of gay culture is one reason I’m not big on gay rights these days. With homosexuality legally tolerated in Western countries, it’s safe to GET A ROOM!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:02 pmWhy am I all of a sudden thinking of Roger the Shrubber?
Ni!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:08 pmTears for Queers
“Evr’y gay body wants to rule the world!”
July 10th, 2008 at 4:11 pmGeorge Michael for PM!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:11 pmI don’t believe same sex open air effing is guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution OR English Common Law. But now, the MUSLIMS know EXACTLY where to find the “doggers.” And, just think, as much as Muslims consider dogs to be unclean animals, it will fit right in with what they think of homosexuals!
The next sex parties should prove “interesting.” Too bad Ann Pearston and her Dewdrop movement took away everyone’s handguns! But, such is life in Great, er, make that “Pretty Good but Declining Rapidly” Britain. Nothing too see or say Great about here! Move along!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:12 pmNow let me see if I understand this situation…
If heterosexuals are caught having sex in a public place they would be charged. If homosexuals are caught having sex in a public place they should be left completely alone lest there be a threat to ‘gay rights’.
Tell me again how homosexuals just want equality and don’t want any extra special rights.
July 10th, 2008 at 4:15 pmLOL!!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:16 pmBring us a shrubbery!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:29 pmAt what point does bending over for every minority group become an infringement of the rights of the majority? Or does the majority have to cave to every minority group’s demands, no matter how absurd or extreme?
What if one minority group (say Muslims, who by and large don’t like homosexuals) attacked another minority group (say, homosexuals)? Would the British legal system be able to prosecute anyone?
July 10th, 2008 at 4:37 pmLast time I checked (ok so it didn’t
)
July 10th, 2008 at 4:37 pmI thought sex in public places was against the law? Even in England?
Frankly, although my private morals would get me kicked out of Caligula’s palace for ruining the morals of his sisters, the Senators’ wives, the slaves, sheep and statues, I can’t see that forbidding people to have sex in public is a violation of their rights. My learned friend above has the right idea—GET A BLOODY ROOM! If for no other reason than that some enterprising mugger might decide that these areas are perfect hunting spots—you can’t be much more vulnerable than when you’re having sex, now CAN you?
Hmmm…you know, if I were younger and less moral, this would strike me as a perfect solution to my cash-flow problems.
July 10th, 2008 at 4:42 pmI saw “discriminatory” but thought “depilatory”.
Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!
July 10th, 2008 at 4:45 pmOK, now I know: Ecological Rights (<) Gay Rights.
Going in my notebook now - wouldn’t want to be unPC in the future.
July 10th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
July 10th, 2008 at 4:56 pmOh, you beat me to it. “Bring us some shrubbery!” Ha!
Seriously, I need to start saving up money NOW. I want to see England and Ireland and Europe, and pretty soon it’s going to be nothing but roving gangs of thugs and gutted buildings turned into mosques. Sigh.
July 10th, 2008 at 4:57 pmSo what I don’t get is, if I shine a flashlight into some bushes on public land, it’s some sort of homophobic hate crime? Did I get that right, or am I missing some nuance here?
July 10th, 2008 at 4:59 pmWhen homosexuals start complaining about wanting “equal rights”, I point to things like this. More people would be okay with gay marriage if things like this weren’t common in the gay community. I used to live in Memphis - Overton Park had the same issue.
I’m all for equal rights for everyone, but I do not want my children to have to see such things. It’s also why I’m against public “gay pride” parades. Why should my kids have to see grown men parading around in ladies undergarments?
This is “special rights”, and it’s incredibly offensive.
GET A ROOM! No one cares what you do in private!
(Which is probably the entire point)
July 10th, 2008 at 5:04 pmHands up. Who did NOT immediately think of Monty Python at that precise moment?
I also think this scandal arose after that episode of Extras aired, the one with George Michael in a park with some very thick shrubbery.
July 10th, 2008 at 5:32 pmRoyal Navy sinking.
Butt Pirates on the rise!
July 10th, 2008 at 5:36 pmI bet they can’t speak spanish either!
July 10th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
July 10th, 2008 at 5:53 pmSo can I burn my UK passport yet, along to the same tune that Luke burned the corpse of Darth Vader to?
DA-DAAH-DA-DA-DA-DAH-DAAAH (etc, I’ll stop now).
If any of my fellow Brits get offended at Rachel or any of her commenters for taking the piss, then don’t get defensive and point out what’s soooo!!! wrong with America.
None of it’s personal and you have to admit it, you’re probably complaining about the same things yourselves on UK sites.
Total bullshit is total bullshit, whether Rachel points it out or British bloggers do.
I’m just glad that I’m getting out of here. Gordon Brown would probably like to stop me from burning carbon by flying to South Carolina, but apparently he’s too focused on whether people put apple cores in the appropriate bins, and have cut down all potentially lethal trees on their own properties to pay attention to me right now.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:04 pmOh, MUST we hump in the shrubbery now? WTF is WRONG with people?
July 10th, 2008 at 6:06 pmthis is the same reason you can’t take a shower in the gym, or let your son use the public bathroom alone, or get out of your car at a rest stop at night. But your rights are not what counts….not when there’s a transgender “person” out there feeling oppressed. When is the fucking pendulum ever going to swing the other way?
July 10th, 2008 at 6:08 pmBRB, chopping down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:14 pmMaybe all the sane people left there long ago and the gentics of the idiots who remained have finally caight up with them.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:16 pmThanks, Rachel, for that whole waxing image…eww.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:25 pmSo over there, they’re preserving a gay ‘playground,’ whilst over here, if a bunch of kids want to turn an empty lot into a Wiffle Ball park (inspired, no doubt, by this book), then they’ve got to be shut down?
The world is upside down!
Oh, Yes! There’s an Oh-So-Appropriate (as in British Surrendering - again!!) song:
Edit: Here it is in fife and drum :).
July 10th, 2008 at 7:15 pmThis brings up a whole ‘nother image when thinking of Brits with stiff upper lips.
Now I have to go wash out my mental imager with something caustic.
July 10th, 2008 at 7:16 pmTaint that expensive to clear shrubbery, as Rachel points out …
July 10th, 2008 at 7:29 pmBwaahahaha! 14 Karat, you are brilliant!
July 10th, 2008 at 7:50 pmOne begins to wonder if there are any sensible, reasonable people left in the UK. Have they all emmigrated?
July 10th, 2008 at 7:57 pmRecently a British man and woman were arrested for, uh, “dogging” on a public beach in Dubai. Apparently the cop had already let the couple off with a warning.
Guess there are not many shrubs on Dubai beaches.
July 10th, 2008 at 8:31 pm“…has become a MECCA for gay men and couples cruising for sex.”
Heh.
July 10th, 2008 at 9:07 pmEvery minority group has its pack of mean little bullies just waiting for their chance to be the one giving out the kicks in the ribs. They’re drawn to activist organizations like vultures to roadkill. Britain’s great mistake has been actually taking them seriously as Representatives Of The Whole.
While I agree that this is way above and beyond the pale of any concept of “rights”, I don’t see anything more than a superficial difference between them and every other group of the perpetually outraged. Same species, different color morphs.
July 10th, 2008 at 9:51 pm“..has become a mecca…,” yes. It sounds like the reporter is hoping to incite an incident with that line.
July 10th, 2008 at 11:16 pmEvery time I hear of some Gay activist pontificating that “What we do in the privacy of our bedrooms is our business, not yours.”, I want to shake the little twit by the throat, screaming, “Then KEEP it in your goddamned bedroom!”.
Proposal: Every time this problem comes up, how about we plant some Poison Ivy?
July 11th, 2008 at 4:49 amGood Lord, how stupid, and I’m this site’s gay friendly conservative.
I tell ya what, our friends the Brits beter toughen up and quick. Some real shit is stirring with Iran, they’re looking to provoke us before the end of the Bush term (they stupidly think they can defeat us and Isreal in thier defense) and we’re going to need some help to fight this war on three fronts.
It seems like the Brits are scared of everyone these days. Not exactly the type of people you want watching yoru back on the battlefied.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:26 amMy thoughts exactly.
If Britain can’t handle it’s own queers (sue me) - there’s no way they can handle war.
July 11th, 2008 at 7:59 amNight vision goggles and a pellet gun…I’m just saying.
Put a lump on your rump if you try to hump.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:37 amI totally have a girl-crush on 14karat right now - despite the need to bleach my minds eye after that duct tape image
July 11th, 2008 at 8:46 amPfft. Charybdis E. Scylla, Night vision goggles and a silenced AWP. Not only does it clean out the shrubbery, it handily removes the problem of complaining queers.
Not that anyone should recommend violence against anyone as a solution. I’m just saying that it’s efficient.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:59 amThe entire country is going queer??
It already has. Archie Bunker told us that on one of his episodes. Quote-England is a fag country- Unquote.
They oughta rename this place “The Rumpranger Resort”
July 11th, 2008 at 9:19 amEspecially if you have to take cover in any bushes…
I think in the US places like this get referred to as “Pickle Park.” I’m in agreement with other people here. Do what you want in the privacy of your own bedroom, but public places aren’t your bedroom.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:21 amDon’t wave your torch at me when I am dogging at the Downs?
Yeeeah.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:23 amI do believe the Brits are finally getting the thrust of this issue.
This is absolutely incredible.
Firemen are assessed fines for shining lights into shrubs? The rights of gay doggers are now an issue?
KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM, YOU PILLOW BITERS!
July 11th, 2008 at 10:46 amBoggles the mind, doesn’t it?
July 11th, 2008 at 10:57 amWhat’s the matter, don’t the British have any poison ivy, or poison oak type plants that could be sown in the area? Then, there would not be any objections from anyone about cleaning the area up. Hey, new item for online gardening store, Poison Ivy seeds for those areas that really need it! And it might be in demand around San Franscisco and Nantucket
July 11th, 2008 at 10:59 amDon’t clear it. Braid it! Two braids like on Viking chins.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:14 amRan across a well written piece that is relevant and covers both British foibles and gun control.
July 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pmhttp://bishophill.squarespace.com/blog/2008/7/3/is-gun-control-behind-our-loss-of-civil-liberties.html
Evvy buns,
July 11th, 2008 at 4:30 pmWhen I first read this, I read ‘get’ instead of ‘let’ and I thought, Wow they have good cops!
Tuerqas, I don’t know whether to snicker or say “BLEH!”
July 11th, 2008 at 7:03 pm(Originally posted in “Girl on the Right”)
I live in Bristol, next to the Downs, I prefer girls…
Why is your piece premised on the idea that only gays enjoy outdoor sex?
Why do you drag in “children” if people are doing things out of sight [in the bushes]?
Has it ever occurred to you, that the “bush-trimming” campaign might have unconfessable intentions?
The Downs is not “a park” in the usual sense. It’s hundreds of acres of grass and trees and bushes alongside Avon Gorge. People use it for all kinds of things, including flying model aircraft with video cameras…
Why the prudery? Look around any newsagents. How is it possible for anyone not to know what “sex” is, or what it looks like? Little kids ask Mommy: “What’s “anal sex”?”
Around 2% of British residents describe themselves as “Muslims.” Why the talk of “hordes”?
You may be too young to remember, but Britain, France and Israel went to war in 1956 to retain the Suez Canal in Western hands. Eisenhower threatened to wreck our economy, while the USSR threatened to nuke us. “Malaya” mean anything to you? “The Falkland Islands”? Bosnia? Iraq I & II? Afghanistan? ANYTHING???
Shooting people in the ass with a BB gun will win you five years in prison for using a firearm in a public place. I kid you not.
GotR: You win a free Brazilian Wax… >:-}
Tony
July 12th, 2008 at 9:25 am“Shooting people in the ass with a BB gun will win you five years in prison for using a firearm in a public place. I kid you not.”
Just one more reason you Brits are screwed in many more ways than one.
Wave to the cameras when you’re out today.
Fools.
July 12th, 2008 at 11:19 am“Why the prudery? Look around any newsagents. How is it possible for anyone not to know what “sex” is, or what it looks like? Little kids ask Mommy: “What’s “anal sex”?””
And evidently in Britain can be taken right out for an open air demonstration if not already receiving one in the schools.
July 12th, 2008 at 11:21 amvanderleun:
British GDP per capita is higher than the US figure.
The EU’s GDP is over a trillion dollars greater than the US.
Check your local ordinances. Shooting people in the ass with BB guns is criminal. Don’t be silly.
I looked at your site. Not good at solving problems, are you? Kinda UnAmerican…
Tony
July 12th, 2008 at 3:24 pmTony Says,
Ahem. From the Telegraph:
To put it quite crudely, sir: as they like to say over on Fark, RTFA!
July 12th, 2008 at 8:15 pmfelicity:
(I love that name. How can I argue with someone called ‘felicity’??) >:-}
This is a good description of the Balkanization of rights. The gays perceive their rights being violated, therefore it’s a ‘gay’ issue.They think.
Whereas in reality it’s the rights of _everyone_ to enjoy outdoor sex that’s at issue. But heterosexual lovers of outdoor sex are not politically organized, and are thus voiceless in this report.
Have you ever made love naked, in the middle of a warm summer rainstorm? >:-} Think about it…
Tony
July 12th, 2008 at 9:35 pm“You leave a comment. Do it now.”
This sounds so much like the police officer who’s pointing a gun at Trinity, in the opening scene of “The Matrix.” >:-}
[ FX: : “Your men are already dead.” ]
Tony
July 13th, 2008 at 2:02 pmYeah, f, have ya?
8th of May, felicity, 8th of May.
[ducking and giggling]
July 13th, 2008 at 2:53 pmTony Says:
Isn’t that why God invented the back garden? And if one has the grave misfortune to lack real estate, then one has still a duty, as a civil and decent member of society, regardless of persuasion, to be discreet!
But the pros and cons of alfresco intimacy are beside the point. That one citizen has a right to a certain activity does not obligate the rest of society to provide and maintain a venue for his pursuit.
If I enjoy flying model airplanes, is council required to maintain a model airfield so that I may do so?
And, of course, as I think you agree, what is patently absurd is the notion of discrimination!
July 13th, 2008 at 5:45 pm14k,
July 13th, 2008 at 5:47 pmlol — You are a very naughty girl!
If you’re first thought was, “Guy drives a van with blacked out windows and lives in mom’s basement mainlining Ho-Hos” you’ve understood all.
July 14th, 2008 at 3:55 pmvanderleun:
Wrong in every respect. In Europe, “Ho-Hos” are Spartan warrior chants. And I rather like Tiramisu.
Crude _and_ hostile, eh?
[ FX: “Ho Ho Ho!!!” ]
Tony
July 14th, 2008 at 5:10 pmFelicity:
I rather think that the council _does_ encourage model aircraft flying clubs! It’s a healthy pursuit for people of all ages, and it builds interest in aircraft construction and flying. With the growing trend in Remote Piloted Vehicles, we’ll need all the people we can get.
Bristol is a historic city, and a centre of the aircraft industry.
Where did you learn to write so well? You use language beautifully! Who are your favourite authors?
Best Wishes,
Tony
July 15th, 2008 at 3:49 amFeel I need to defend my home patch here.
The vast majority of us in Blighty are as bemused as you are about what the hell has happened to our country and how a relatively tiny number of grievance-mongering deadbeats have exerted such a stranglehold on it. Suggestions are welcome.
And please lay off our troops. My neighbour’s nephew was killed in Afghanistan a few weeks ago and our proportion of troops killed is actually very close to yours.
BTW the story about the firemen is true, sadly.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:11 amGod save the queen, and the country.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:16 pm14 Karat:
Tell us about yourself.
Even better, tell us about Felicity! >:-}
Regards,
Tony
July 15th, 2008 at 1:48 pmThe difference between Britain and America is the difference between subjects and citizens.
In my experience, the British are comfortable in a stratified society, where each class ‘knows’ its place. This is why there still is a royal family that receives an annual stipend in the 500 million pound range. This is why there is still a hereditary House of Lords (albeit with not very much power). This is why there are still titles of nobility.
America was founded by folks who looked at the British government and society and rejected its principles. The Founding Fathers didn’t believe that some folks were better than others because of their bloodlines. Nor did they believe that good leaders breed good leaders.
Britain might have evolved the way America did, except that they blew it after the Glorious Revolution by replacing one king with another, and by creating a Constitution that had no more force of law than any other law created by Parliament. One tyrant (James) was replaced by another (Parliament).
The current culture war in America today is between those who still believe what the Founding Fathers believed, and those who don’t and want us to be more like Europe… including having a malleable constitution.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pmfelicity:
(I love that name. How can I argue with someone called ‘felicity’??) >:-}
Imagine if she was named “Penelope” instead…
“Thank you very much, Jerry!”
July 16th, 2008 at 12:11 amJohnClif:
Arguing with _you_ is difficult, because you’re an aircraft buff, and because you clearly love the _idea_ of America, as I do.
On my living-room wall are several 8 x 10 glossy photos; one of an SR-71 Blackbird in serene high flight, signed for me personally by Richard M. Bissell, jr., who dreamed and built the plane with Kelly Johnson of Lockheed when he was Deputy Director, Plans at CIA.
Another is signed by Admiral Noel Gayler –three Navy Crosses; CO USS Ranger; Designer, SIOP; DIRNSA; CinCPAC; and (with George Kennan) on the Committee for East-West Accord, which did so much to bring the Cold War to an end.
When I was five, I used to get into fights in the school playground, defending America. I’ve never thought of myself as anyone’s ’subject.’ All my life, I’ve been a ’small-r’ republican (a Goldwater Liberal, if you will). Several of my relatives were lain to rest at Arlington.
I love the America you love — an idea rather than a reality. “The Constitution may not be perfect, but it’s a lot better than what we’ve got now.” as Sandy Shaw wrote.
When I traveled to Seattle in 2000 (to visit your most famous prisoner at Purdy), I carried a million dollars in legal expenses insurance. I’m a card-carrying Member of the ACLU. The imprisonment rate and length of sentences are orders of magnitude higher than anything in Europe. Either Americans are vastly more criminally-inclined; or the so-called “Criminal Justice System” is vastly more oppressive than anything in Europe.
Something has gone dreadfully wrong. Most of those imprisoned have done nothing wrong (in my book); and don’t deserve the savage sentencing and other penalties they are subjected to. The US imprisons more of its population for longer than any other country on Earth.
Most of my life, I wanted to live in the America you love. I fit in well. I belong there. But I live in perpetual exile, because the America I came to love is a dream. Wherever I go, I find pieces of it. Small pieces. It breaks my heart.
Meanwhile, the EU GDP exceeds the US by a trillion dollars a year. The British per capita GDP exceeds the US figure. IN PRACTICE, my liberty is vastly less threatened in Europe than it is in the US.
I’ve had the Seattle Chief of Police, Gil Kerlikowske, phone me at my home in England (because I wrote a snarky email to Susan Paynter!) and inform me that he could have me arrested _in England_, extradited without any Court hearing, flown to the US and detained without charge indefinitely. And he _can_, if he’s prepared to brave a firefight… >:-}
It’s amusing, because the King County Prosecutor is a good man and a friend of mine.
Soooo… I also want America to have an (updated) version of the Constitution the Founders and Framers intended, as they would intend it _now_, several hundred years later. And - yes - I want America to be the North Atlantic European country it really is.
A major difference is that European countries have governments which are elected by the people. Whereas the US is ruled by a criminal clique who seized power under the pretext of “9/11″; and who are probably plotting another “9/11″ right now, to rescue the ersatz “Republican” party’s position in the upcoming election.
When the Aznar government tried this in Spain, with the Madrid bombings, it backfired on them, and they lost the election (not before wiping all the hard-drive records of the bombing investigations).
A MORI Poll found that 20% of US people were authoritarian, as against 13% for Britain.
That’s what really counts.
Best Wishes,
Tony
July 16th, 2008 at 10:06 am