Mamas, don’t let your sons watch HGTV. They’ll never get married.
It takes a special kind of person to get pissed off watching the Home and Garden channel, and I am just that special person. I love “House Hunters” the most because it’s fun watching people in other parts of the country try to find a 3-bedroom 2-bathroom 1200-square foot house for under $250,000 (in the DFW area, that kind of money buys you a McMansion), but mostly what I love is hating the women I see on these shows. And hate them I do.
In the last 2 weeks, I’ve watched maybe a dozen episodes of “House Hunters”, and in at least 10 of those episodes, the following occurred almost verbatim every single time:
Wife: Oh! This is a nice big closet.
Husband: Yeah, I guess it’s big enough for all your stuff.
Wife: HA HA! I get all the closet space! It’s mine! You get one drawer! HA HA HA HA!
This makes me want to kill some bitches.
They are so proud of the fact that they own 50 pairs of shoes and two metric tons of cocktail dresses, and that they’ve shown their husband who’s boss by hogging all the closet space. You can see it in their eyes, every time, how cutely sassy they think they’re being. It is absolutely revolting.
I also love how they make a big deal out of pretending that they care what hubby thinks. Some of them are so brazenly unashamed - and proud - of how thoroughly they’ve emasculated their man that they even look right in the camera with a dull-eyed evil grin and say things like, “I like to let him think his opinions count, too.” Die, lady. Just die.
You’d almost feel sorry for these guys but you know what? They’re adults. They made a choice to marry these psychos and knock them up repeatedly, and to allow themselves to be relegated to “just-another-kid” status. Tough shit. Get a helmet.
On some other show I saw the other day, not “House Hunters” but something like it, a newlywed couple was looking for their first home. The wife said she’d just spent several years in the Peace Corps, which tells you something about her financial savvy. They wanted a certain house that was on the market for something like $257,000 but they’d crunched the numbers and decided that their firm upper limit was $242,000, based on what the monthly payments would be.
So they made some counter-offers and the seller got down to $247,000 plus closing costs. CLOSE ENOUGH. But no. Not for this woman. Even when the realtor explained that she’d called the bank and gotten the interest rate lowered and thus the monthly difference was precisely $16, wifey still wouldn’t budge. She even burst into tears.
Wife: But we agreed! We agreed on $242,000! We can’t afford this!
Husband: Honey, it’s only $16 a month more.
Wife: No! We agreed!
Husband: With my parents helping, we can do this.
Wife: Noooo! We agreed!
Husband: Okay sweetie, let’s go home and talk about it. It’s okay, don’t worry.
I kept waiting for Dr. Phil to show up and explain to this idiot and her de-balled husband where the rubber meets the road. To counsel the husband on the mistake he made marrying such a brittle fool and how the rest of his existence with her was going to be even worse because if she acts like this over $16 a month, imagine how she’ll act when something, you know, actually bad happens.
Or maybe someone who’s good with math who might point out that if you’re spending a quarter of a million dollars, crying about an extra $16 a month is probably the stupidest fucking thing you will ever do in your entire life. Seriously. It’s true.
And another thing, which is I know is something really lame to bitch about because it is a TV show and also because I already blogged about it years ago on my old blog, but it drives me completely NUTS how the realtors show the houses to these people.
Because I’m sorry, but when you walk into a room with a refrigerator, a stove, and a sink, you do not need to say, “And this is the kitchen.” When you go out the back door and behold a large grassy fenced area, you do not need to say, “And this is the back yard.” While pointing at a paved hole in the ground that is full of water and has a diving board at one end, you do not need to say, “And this is the pool.”
And you do not need to ASK people if they’d like to see the living room. I’m pretty sure they would.
Anyway, back to the thesis of this post, which is that if anyone out there ever still wonders why so many men don’t want to get married, you really just need to watch more TV. You’ll see. Shows you’d think were totally benign and neutral on gender relations aren’t necessarily so. And don’t even get me started on “Bridezillas.” Oh lord. If that one doesn’t turn men completely gay, they’re just not being smart.
Oh geez - now I’m going to have to watch the show!!
July 15th, 2008 at 11:43 amMy wife and I have noticed this on TV more and more lately. Either a smart ass kid shows up the old man or the broad (sorry, most of the offenders aren’t ladies in my book) has to show who wears the pants by making some snarky comments and making the man look foolish. Now, I admit that I’ve got no problems making myself look foolish often enough, but my bride doesn’t dogpile on me like most of the women on tv. That’s not just in shows either, pay attention to commercials as well. As for Bridezillas, I have repeatedly told my wife, if she had been 1/10th as annoying as ANY of the broads on that show, I’d still be single. Our wedding, while stressful was completed without any bloodshed or open wounds occuring and she and I did all the work and paid for everything ourselves.
July 15th, 2008 at 11:49 amI actually watched the last half of a “Bridezillas” the other day, and nearly wet myself between laughing at the women, and calling the men ignorant because they were still going to marry them. This one man had taken his fiancee to a fancy restaurant, and he gave her the wedding band early. This guy had spent a buttload of money to buy a platinum wedding band, but it didn’t have a diamond, so the bitch completely lost her shit. She told him she would never wear a plain “piece of shit like that”, and walked out of the restaurant. The dumbass decided he was going to follow her out and talk to her. I was shouting, “NO!!! Go out the back door and never see her again!!!”, but he just wouldn’t listen to me. Boy, hers must be gold-plated for him to want to go back to it after that.
July 15th, 2008 at 11:50 amYou are so right! I cringe throughout most of the show. There was some chick who seriously cried for most of the 30 minutes as they went through the process.
And Bridezillas! I just watched it Sunday night and couldn’t believe the groom went through with the wedding. The bitch shoved cake in his uncles face at the rehearsal because he dared to announce that it happened to be his wedding anniversary. Yeesh.
July 15th, 2008 at 11:52 amGeez. There’s a reason I don’t watch much TV. 24, Heroes, Trading Spaces…Fox News…that’s about it.
If I were watching Bridezillas I would probably end up screaming at the TV. That kind of crassness doesn’t appeal to me.
As far as the “but we agreed!” girl goes, well…as long as they are talking it out and come to a mutual decision there shouldn’t be a problem. Crying because they can’t get the $$ down to where they decided they could afford it is kind of histrionic. Make a decision. Lift your payment by the $16, or don’t. Crying over it is ridiculous.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:02 pmWe don’t watch Bridezilla, but my wife does watch house-hunters on occasion. I was with her during one show and the one thing this guy really, really wanted was a swimming pool. That was all he wanted. They looked at 3 houses, 2 with pools, 1 without. Guess which one they went with? And it wasn’t like it was a better, bigger, less expensive.
She just wanted to show him who was boss. He was “happy” because he got a band practice room. Which she whispered to the camera, that won’t last long either.
I wanted to just slap that bitch. I looked over to my wife and said, I hope your not taking notes here, because that ain’t happening here.
I’m also from the DFW area and just am amazed that houses half the size of mine run for 2-3 times as much. I just shake my head and wonder how the hell these people pay for these things. I make good money, but I’d hate to have to pay a higher mortgage.
And one final note, a DFW radio host once said H&G programming was porn for women. And that I believe.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:03 pmNever watched Bridezillas, never will. I’ve seen variations of it, and I nearly wanted to slap my wife for just being the same gender. She did nothing wrong, but I felt sorry for her.
I’ve noticed this a lot on House Hunters as well, and it makes me cringe. These spineless bastards just sit there and take it. I feel no pity. They deserve it for being stupid enough to marry those hags. I’m just waiting for one of the dudes to snap. They’ll be trolling through the house, the wife will be making comments that point in the direction of “men are so stupid”, and then on (not so) live TV the man will boom “Listen you life sucking twat! You will never speak to me like that again or I’m going to fuck your sister on a giant pile of your burning shoes! Do you understand me?”
Pure. TV. Gold.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:04 pmWon’t turn me gay, but definately leaning toward legalizing prostitution.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:05 pmDid you pick up on the phrase “with my parents helping?” My kids know better than to ask me, as two of them make a heck of a lot more money than I do.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:05 pmThis reminds of a show I saw a few times that was (I think) called “Designed for the Sexes.” A husband and wife would call a designer to solve the problem they faced: they had a room or rooms in the house they couldn’t agree on how to decorate. The designer (an incredibly flaming man) would then listen intently while the man said something like “my wife has designed all the rest of the house of the house the way she wants it, including the garage and the basement, and I just want a room where I can watch my big screen and drink beer with the guys.” Then he listens intently while the wife says “I just really think this room needs to be used more as a conversation area, where we can sit by the fire and drink tea.” Then the designer “compromises” and creates a room they BOTH can enjoy (sarcasm), by making a pink frilly fluffy room with lots of lace and pillows, but if you look closely you will see a 13″ TV has been hidden inside some sort of miniature armoire so the man can just shut the hell up. In other words, the show did the room the way woman wanted with no consideration for the man at all.
I stopped watching after seeing just enough of this crap to spot the pattern.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:09 pmI’ve dealt with women like that before. They budget things so tightly that she knows that they really can’t afford another $16. They budget to get as much house as they can possibly ever afford.
I don’t understand it. I live in a crappy apartment because I want spending money. I’m looking at houses now, and I am trying to get one that isn’t more than double my yearly salary. Total. Because I like not having to worry about my budget being stretched.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:09 pmRachel, I’ll let you in on a little secret about us men.
As long as our wives keep having sex with us, they can pretty much do whatever the hell they want to. Period.
We don’t give a flying shit about closets or how much the mortgage will cost as long as we are getting it on a regular basis.
We truly are simple creatures, and that is OK with us (and I repeat) as long as we are getting it on a regular basis!!!!!!!
Let the sex stop, and we don’t play those games any more!!!!! Yes, we are just big dogs, and no you can’t have us fixed…
July 15th, 2008 at 12:14 pmBridezilla, ha! Double ha for Momzillas! My mom started freaking out when I got engaged (she really meant well, but WOW) until I informed her that if she went too psycho, I’d rent a gym at the Y and serve pizza with boxed wine for the reception, so help me GOD. My friends thought it’d be fun! Mom has since calmed way down and trusted me to handle the details . . .
July 15th, 2008 at 12:17 pmBig Bad Johnny is right. The problem, of course, it that eventually one of several things happens:
The woman simply stops putting out;
The woman gains 400 pounds;
OR
The woman takes the man SO much for granted that she allows her outrageous demands to be less acceptable than dropping a few grand every month on multiple hookers.
Which is why men should marry women they actually like to spend time with, instead of women that spread their legs for presents.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:18 pmWhy do women do this? Why do so many women think they need so many different pairs of shoes? I have three pairs of shoes. My boots, my tennis shoes, and my formal shoes. That’s it. That’s all I’ve ever needed.
I’ve thought about this a long time and I think I know the answer. Women don’t buy shoes, they collect shoes. Just like some people collect stamps, bottle caps, or rare coins. Women aren’t buying these shoes to wear them, they’re just feeding a hobby. And there’s nothing wrong with that, at least in the abstract. The problem is when the shoe collection begins to take over the entire closet.
The ladies would not approve if their man’s hobby started to take over the whole bedroom (I know this because my mother most certainly did not approve when she came home and found all 63 of my dad’s model airplanes hanging from her bedroom ceiling). So why, oh women of the world, do you do the same to us?
July 15th, 2008 at 12:19 pmMy wife and I were watching HH the other day and the couple looking at houses were “rating” each house on a scorecard the wife designed. I asked my wife what the deal was (as I has missed the first part of the show) and she explained that the wife made up the cards to make sure that the husband had a say in what house they chose. My wife then pointed out to me how much of an overbearing bitch the wife must be to have to have her husband write down PRECISELY what about the house he did/did not like for her to take his opinion seriously.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:23 pmRachel,
You and I must be sisters separated at birth. You couldn’t have written this entry an more to my EXACT thoughts. I used to watch HH, but got sick of it for your exact reasons. Nice to know I am not wasting my time watching it any more since it hasn’t changed.
And the other thing that bothered me was the chinese lady hostess that couldn’t keep her head still while talking. Bob,bob,bob, up and down, side to side, I hated watching her.
Anyway, GREAT post. Keep up the good work and thanks for reading my mind and putting it in writing. Saves me the time of having to blog . . .
July 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pmActually, Say Uncle came to a good agreement with his wife on this. She gets to fill the closet with shoes, he gets to fill a gun safe with guns. Everyone is happy. (He couldn’t get her to budge on the fact that guns generally appreciate, while shoes depreciate drastically before you even get them out of the store.)
July 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pmMy husband will be glad to know that his sack is intact by your standards! He picked our house without me even being IN THE STATE!! Took pictures of it when it wasn’t even finished, e-mailed them and said “this is the house, what do you think?” as if it wasn’t already a foregone conclusion
Now it doesn’t hurt that we sorta like the same things in a house, and that we can find our way around a calculator (unlike that ass-clown girl you mentioned–btw, I think I saw that same show, it was something like House Virgins or something??), but still….I would no more TELL my husband that I get the closet than I would own more than a couple of cocktail dresses.
Wait til those bitches start popping out kids and get spit-up on their precious wardrobe! Hehe, I’m laughing just thinking about it!
July 15th, 2008 at 12:28 pmThat was exactly what I was thinking as I read Rachels post. And people point to the Big Bad Banks as the sole cause of the mortgage crisis?
July 15th, 2008 at 12:30 pm1) Why is this labeled under “girl stuff”?
2) Apparently House Hunters is on 24/7 because I see it on the list whenever I’m seeing if House is coming on.
3) I can’t believe anyone watches this shit. Someone up top said they don’t watch that show because they would end up screeming at the TV. That is exactly why I don’t bother with this type of show. I already yell at the TV enough, I don’t need something that will make me stroke out.
4)
pure. awesomeness.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:37 pmAnd some people wonder why I’m a lot less wistful about the fact that I’ve never been married, or even shacked-up. Wise was he who said “Come live with me and you’ll know me.”
On “Bridezillas”—I can understand and sympathize with a young woman who breaks down while in the throes of wedding planning—it’s a big step to take, and she’s in the middle of planning this huge, complicated party, with all sorts of people being invited, including likely some that she knows won’t click with each other. That said, some brides-to-be are so fixated on it being THEIR PERFECT DAY that they turn into Stalin-in-drag.
And sometimes it’s not the bride’s fault, but Mommie Dearest, especially if the bride, herself, wants a nice, quiet wedding with just family and very close friends, but Mommie Dearest’s been dreaming of throwing a huge, fantabulous blow-out ever since she knew she’d had a girl, and has the bit in her teeth.
If I were to marry, I’d suggest eloping, and letting people know afterward.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:41 pmWomen like that don’t turn us gay. We like the girly parts too much for that. They just turn us single for life.
I’d gladly live in my shithole apartment and be happy and in peace than have my shit run by some she-hag like that.
No amount of ass is worth that.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:44 pmIf I may say so, Rupert is a lucky guy. On behalf of all men, Rachel, thanks for not going all Jesse Jackson on us.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:52 pmNow, add to this the gay and lesbian “partners” in the home improvement-for-sales shows, and pretty soon you think that all women are ditzes and everyone ELSE is gay or lesbian living in a “stable” relationship!
Thank Neil Clark Warren for the VERY heterosexual e-Harmony! I think he should find a way to turn eHarmony into a Reality Cable show!
July 15th, 2008 at 12:52 pmYou don’t see the real men on those shows cause they’re busy gettin drunk and watchin reruns of Blue Collar Comedy. Make me a sandwich beotch!
July 15th, 2008 at 12:57 pmI’m planning to nip this in the bud by:
July 15th, 2008 at 1:03 pm-buying the house first, then getting married, meaning she has to accomidate herself to my space.
-making the watching of HGTV, “Sex and the City”, or “Titanic” one of the reasons she will be dumped. Oh Lord, how I wish I could unsee “Titanic”
I like to watch Clean House, ’cause it makes me feel like my house is absolutely immaculate in comparison. There was an episode recently where the husband worked nights and the wife was a “real estate agent”, and she expected him to do 80% of the work around the house because he was home during the day! She was the biggest bitch ever. I don’t get why he didn’t slap her and tell her to clean up after herself once in a while. They had a bunch of sons, and she didn’t expect them to do anything, and even made excuses for her stupid 16 year-old punk son who’s room was a health hazard.
My husband works nights, and while I’d like him to do more around the house, I understand that he will never get as much sleep as I do, even though we work the same number of hours, so there’s no point nagging him about it.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:04 pmHave you stumbled on another one of these real-estate-based horrors –”Flip this House”? This is where greedy yups and yuppettes buy a regular middle class house that maybe needs a lick of paint and maybe a a couple of new kitchen appliances and maybe the garden weeded, and lo and verily, with dollar signs spinning in their eyeballs (they’re shooting for a $250,000 markup), they decide to turn it into a McMansion.
So HE takes a sledgehanner to the kitchen, while SHE starts whining about those (snivel) Out of Date Popcorn Ceilings (horrors!!)– and to stop the whining he then takes a sledgehammer to the ceilings .. and surprise! the remodel wasn’t finished in 2 weekends like they’d planned, to he has to call in his friend Chip from Sales to help out, only it turns out that neither HE nor Chip, nor SHE for that matter know fecal matter about either plumbing or nailing up thickened cardboard for walls and ceilings, and after the commercial there’s a closeup of HER standing in the mess pouting and snarling, and then you grab the remote and punch in Channel 83 where they’re having a Chuckie the Doll Festival and “Child’s Play” is on and Chuckie looks pretty damn human in comparison to the yups …
July 15th, 2008 at 1:11 pmCable channels are for rich people.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:11 pmI was with you full-on until the bit about the wife at the end putting her foot down on the extra $16 per month. To me, it sounds like HE is the one who wants to live right up to the edge of the budget, and she’s the one saying, no, we settled on $X as our absolute maximum limit. She may not want to be dependent on his parents’ money (I mean, c’mon, Rachel, haven’t you known a guy or two who had trouble cutting the apron strings connecting him to his momma?). Maybe she doesn’t want him to feel compelled to work 30 hours a week of overtime to just pay the bare minimum bills.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pmYou don’t have to watch TV to see this kind of thing. Just keep your eyes open in a store or a restaurant or on a street corner. Many women treat their husbands with barely-concealed contempt; some don’t even bother to try to conceal it.
Sometimes you see it the other way around, of course, but this is generally when the couple is over 65 or so, or where they are from a different culture.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:14 pmAlso, a lot of the debt crisis in America is probably due to marital politics. The spending level of a couple is generally determined by the more extravagant of the two.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:16 pmThe last house that I shared with a woman was 4,200 square feet and the master bedroom was on a side of the house opposite from the other two bedrooms. The master bedroom closet was 14′ X 8′ and I was not allowed to hang ANY of my clothes there.
I was also disallowed from using either of the other bedroom closets. And in fact, I had to expand one of those ’spare bedroom’ closets for my significant other’s use. I was relegated to the hall closet only.
I own a dozen or so suits, have several dozen dress shirts, and perhaps 60 ties. I not only had to cram all of that into a 3′ X 4′ closet, I had to walk the entire length of the house every morning (50′) just to get to my clothes. Once I arrived at my clothes I was in a hallway and had no mirror, place to sit to put on my shoes, etc.
I was encouraged (encouraged by the threat of the witholding of her feminine charms),not to bring my clothes back into the master bedroom to get dressed. You see I awoke for work two hours before she did and it disturbed her sleep if I returned to what was euphamistically called “our bedroom” to dress.
God I do miss that house! I do not miss hopping one one foot every morning in order to put my shoes on though.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pmI watch too much TV and notice that nearly all the men are so whipped and the women domineering and bitchy. It’s pathetic and annoying. And it rubs off. Whenever I catch myself talking “down” to hubby (usually for annoying me somehow) I realize I’m watching too much. Our relationship is give and take. We’re both hard headed and want what we want. So sometimes he makes a decision and sometimes I make one. It just depends on the issue.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pmI admit it, I watch “Bridezillas”. Partly for the same reason people told fairy tales back in the Old Country– you know, so the kids would know what to do if they ever *did* happen to cross a troll-guarded bridge or whatever.
WayneB, you didn’t get the half of it– not only was the poor SOB groom going to marry this shrieking harpy, he was about to do it for the SECOND TIME!! They had been married and divorced once before. For the love of God, what was he thinking????
Just for the record, I can fit all my shoes into a standard backpack. And my dating profile says so.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:42 pmThose kind of shows just make me really grateful for the wife I have.
Her standard version of dressing up is her nice jeans and some boots. Her favorite shows just happens to be the same ones I like (Dr. Who, Torchwood and Scrubs), and her favorite thing to do on Sunday is watch John Wayne or Jackie Chan films.
And when she sees one of those screaming bitches on TV she usually says something like “I would really have to knock the shit out of a idiot like that.”
Yea, she’s perfect : D
July 15th, 2008 at 1:43 pmAt a party over the weekend I made a joke about how I had ran over something in our yard because I tried to back up in our pick-up and I don’t have penis, which is required for backing up in pick- up trucks.
Well, the only one who got upset was a 100 pair of shoes girly bitch who is could no more drive a pick up than spit, despite the fact that she clearly has posession of her husbands penis and keeps his balls in her purse.
PS not only can i back up in a pick-up but it is a stick shift….i just sayin
July 15th, 2008 at 1:51 pmI’ve secondhand-smoked a few episodes of Bridezillas, which my wife watches religiously. I don’t think it’s so much about turning single men gay as making married men say “OK, maybe my life isn’t perfect, but at least I’m not married to that.”
I am rather curious, though, as to what possesses these bridezillas to appear on the show. They do know that they’re on a show called “Bridezillas,” right? And that as a rule, word blends based on the name “Godzilla” aren’t generally intended as a compliment? Maybe they should have a new show called “Dumbasses Who Will Do Anything to Get on TV,” and see who is willing to appear on that.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pmErin_Coda - Maybe that chump was looking at her as a Trophy Wife. I mean, she WAS pretty impressive looking, but if that’s the case, he deserves what he gets.
Regarding shoes, I have to say I know at least one woman who actually wears her many different pairs of shoes. She rides the same bus I do in the mornings, and I’m sure I’ve seen her wear at least 10 different pairs at different times.
Update: Xrlq - “Dumbasses Who Will Do Anything to Get on TV,” - I’d bet there would be thousands lining up.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:00 pmGeeze woman…. just damned amazing.
Marry me.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:02 pmHere’s a little truth in advertising.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:20 pmHeh… My live-in guy and I both have a lot of “stuff” to stuff into our apartment… but when he moved in with me, he took over all but two of the drawers in two dressers. Most of MY clothes are in laundry baskets on the floor. He also has more stuff in the closets.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:22 pmI admit it, I like these shows. Yes, I yell at the TV – at which point Gullyborg makes disgusted noises at me and tells me to turn it off – but it’s a handy cautionary tale available to the masses. By watching the dysfunctional couples, I have learned to appreciate my husband who is mostly reasonable and apparently smarter than all other men on TV. Its like being a Peeping Tom without the arrest record. And it makes me feel all reasonable in comparision.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:24 pmThat $16 a month kills me.
When I set up my student loan payments the Sallie Mae employee asked if I would mind if my last payment (when I am 65) is made that it would be $160 more then the other 359 odd payments that would be made over 30 years…. Sometimes, it jsut don’t matter.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:28 pmHouse Hunters is one of the few shows that I watch. I used to be a real estate appraiser, and I still like to look at houses. I do think that the people featured may be encouraged to play it up a bit. Without some tension or conflict, the show tends to be a bit dry. The show thankfully has been bringing in other hosts. Suzanne Whang was OK, but she wiggles way too much.
I caught a few bit of Bridezillas shows. It seem to be one step above Jerry Springer to me. Why waste my time watching nasty women get their 15 minutes of fame!
July 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pmI think they cut out a lot of the really good stuff, by which I mean where the guy finally has enough and tells his wife or fiancee to go screw herself. Or the stuff is scripted so that the woman comes out the winner each time. In any event, it’s not worth watching.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:37 pm$16 a month is a little less than 53 cents a day. In other words, one could scrounge the extra from their sofa cushions to make the payment - or eat out ONCE less every two months. Seriously, dinner for two, even at an Applebee’s or something, will run you 32 bucks with tip. Sink it into your house and cook some soup or something.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:37 pmDude, a plane ticket to Nevada isn’t that expensive (especially when you consider the kind of money you’ll end up spending on quality, no-strings-attached !@#$%&*ing.
Oh, and plan to stay a few days.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:38 pmBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!
No, this plan just means more of your own money down the toilet when she demands you either sell your house upside-down to buy a new house for BOTH of you, or else you remodel EVERYTHING and all your “man stuff” like large speakers, power tools, big tvs, gun cabinets, etc., go to the garage (if kept at all).
July 15th, 2008 at 2:38 pmPlease forgive me - I can’t get block quotes to work to save my life….(ETA - thanks 14 karat!)
I will say that I find this to be a bit unfair, as I am currently in that kind of situation, but in reverse. In the four years that my husband I have lived together, me moving from DC into his home in the Phoenix area, I have had to battle to have any impact on the house. And it’s not like I’ve said, “Take your stuff down and put mine up” - I’ve tried to say, “How about if we hang some stuff that we both like - you know, pictures of our friends and family, art we both like, etc.?” I had to fight to just repaint our living room (which sorely needed it, as it had been over 10 years and was just looking kinda faded) and he’s not helping on it.
It’s funny - if you’re too demanding, you’re a ballbreaking bitch. If you just go along, it’s a bit spirit crushing. It’s a fine fine line to walk.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:55 pmThat’s it: I’m officially lobbying Congress to have you cloned. If there’s one thing the world desperately needs, it’s more Wachels.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:55 pmI assure you that’s not how it works around my house. *bg*
But the way I got around that was that both of us were in our 40s before we got married. And we’d never been married before that. So we accepted the fact that she had her stuff and I had mine, and that we ran things as an equal partnership. It’s worked for 8 years and I don’t expect it to stop working anytime soon. And the sex is great. (Oh, sorry. TMI.)
Actually that was exactly what happened in my case. I bought a condo and met my wife six months later. She moved in about five months later. The only thing I did was something I was planning to do anyway — I built a walk-in closet in the master bedroom. And yes, she took up 75% of it, but I own three suits, three sport coats, a bunch of dress shirts, and four pairs of shoes. Everything else fits in a dresser. What do I need a walk-in closet for? The main problem was not her clothes, but the fact that we’d both accumulated complete households full of stuff that we were now trying to cram into a 1000sf condo.
We’re now in the house I grew up in after Mom moved into an apartment (what did Mom need 2400 square feet and a two-car garage for?). I have my own walk-in closet and she’s got pretty much the equivalent of what she had at the condo. But all our furniture and kitchen junk fits now.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:56 pmUm, where can I find one like that (as opposed to the kind that thinks everything purchased with plastic is free)?
July 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pmOh, the plastic was maxed out, and a significant part of that budget was debt maintenance.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:00 pmI actually caught an episode of Bridezillas when I was flipping channels one day and I wanted to induce vominting. The fact that they have a term for this speaks volumes (i.e. meaning there are a lot of women who are like this). I sometimes wonder if I’m missing anything as far as relationships, and then I watch something like that which sobers me up quick.
However, I have to say that the guys who put up with that nonsense are simply pathetic and deserve everything they get. I feel no sympathy whatsoever for them.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:02 pmBrooke,
Highlight the passage you want quoted and then hit “B-quote”
That is all …
July 15th, 2008 at 3:07 pmWayneB, I cannot account for what turns men on– perhaps you were referring to her body as being hot, but I strongly suspect that her mental state was caused by brain toxicity from too much hair bleach. I’m just sayin’.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:14 pmWhat’s HGTV? Never mind, it sounds like I’m happier not knowing. Isn’t Spike running another James Bond marathon this weekend?
July 15th, 2008 at 3:17 pmI’m not sure about that, but they are going to be airing some live UFC fights, so you can watch men attempt to beat the living crap out of eachother, so that will do for good programming.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:26 pmRachel, one show I enjoy watching on HGTV is “Holmes on Homes”. I don’t know if you get it down there in Texas as it is a Canadian show, but if you do I recommend it. Basically, Mike Holmes is a contractor who fixes up other contractors’ disasters. Typically the home owners paid for a reno (or sometimes an entire house) and got shafted by shoddy workmanship and bordering-on-but-not-quite-criminal negligence. Mike comes in and, to use his catch-phrase, “does it right”.
I swear, if I was a girl I’d probably become spontaneously pregnant while watching this guy. Maybe if I wasn’t a home owner I’d be more calm.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pmThis starts at the top - the NYT - and works its way all the way down. For fifteen years I’ve weekly had a glass of wine with a group of women, all of whom are accomplished - most professors - and all married. They once talked about ideas and books; now, for the last few years, it’s whose husband is the biggest fool. I thank God I am unmarried. They read that men don’t do their share of the housework; but their complaints are about how men occasionally miss a spot. Housework is beneath them, cooking too, anything that’s not creative or shows off their “giftedness”.. Their men will do anything, put up with anything, take on any role, give up any pastime or friendship, to keep their wives happy. Their wives pride themselves on their gender breaking dash and flash, but are far more dependent on their men than their grandmothers were. Temporary center-of-attention stardom goes to whomever is having an affair. And indeed watching their men cook, clean, drive, put up with insults, and accept being demeaned, why wouldn’t an affair look good? I love them all dearly but think they’ve talked themselves into a way of life that will destroy both their husbands and their children. And I’m starting to suspect that they’re all beginning to despise one another.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pmIsn’t Spike ALWAYS running a James Bond marathon?
We watch a LOT of James Bond. I don’t care what incarnation he takes, he is H-O-T!
(Well, George Lazenby was pretty plain, but the rest … WHEW)!
July 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pmInstinct, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I F&^%ING hate you.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pmI want to shoot my TV when the househunter says “oh, this (2,000 sq ft kitchen)will be just great for entertaining”. I mean how many friends do these people have? I guess so many that you have to have maximum closets so you are never in danger of wearing the same thing twice in your hostess role! And when they show them a perfectly fine bathroom or kitchen and these 20-year olds immediately make plans to rip it out because it needs “updating”. My parents always said they’d update (buy furniture without broken springs, fix the holes in the sheetrock) when the kids left home. No wonder so many people are drowning in debt now. I’m sure the majority of guys would be happy campers living like my parents did but their wifes push them along the material path and they go because sex is a big motivator. Sorry sisters but I sure see a lot of you treating your men wrong.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:34 pmMy major question about these women is where do they get the ENERGY? I can’t possibly conceive in sinking all that time and effort into marital politics. If my husband actually gave a damn who gets to control the house, you’d never know I lived here. As it is, between the guns, the computer parts, the home theater system, the beer gear, and the car parts, the most significant evidence that I do is on the bookshelves and the scattered art supplies. He’s not domineering; I just don’t care.
I will say, though, that as a member of the “only owns enough shoes as are strictly needed, spends less time in the bathroom than most men, is horrified by the way men are treated on TV” tribe of modern Amazons, until you get to a certain age, being like this renders you fucking invisible to other males your own age. It takes them awhile to see any advantage with the plain-but-sane over the hyper-groomed and hyper-crazed.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:38 pmThat, my dear, is a thing of beauty. And my new motto.
I think inhaling all those grooming products makes these women crazy. Destroys vital synaptic and neuronal activity. Seriously.
July 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pmOn the other end of the spectrum, I live like this to some degree. 85% of the decisions are made by my wife, HOWEVER, I get nothing but respect from her. She does not disrespect me in public or around other people. She did once and she was reminded sternly how good she had it.
It’s not a matter of being a push over or less of a man. She just keeps me in better order. I’m more organized, our financial situation is more stable, and the decisions are just better for both of us. If I ran the roost with an iron fist, we’d be broke, the house would be a mess and we’d probably have more kids.
SgtPep
July 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pmWhen my ex and I were looking for a house, I made it very clear that all I insisted upon having was a)a secure place to store my (600+) guns and do my reloading; and b)my own bathroom.We found a place that she ABSOLUTELY LOVED!!!!, but which had niether of my requirements. When she started to turn all whiney on me, I informed her - in front of the realty agent and another couple looking at the house - that she was welcome to get it, but that I was afraid that I couldn’t pay her enough alimony to meet the mortgage payments. I was serious. She knew it. We found a place that fit the bill nicely. [As an aside, the male half of the other couple there gazed upon the wonderfulness of my self with something akin to awe and envy in his eye.]
July 15th, 2008 at 4:11 pmThere was a time when I thought that the rapid spread of Islamic Sharia Law in the West was a 100% bad thing. Now, I think there may be a few good side-benefits of a tiny bit of Sharia Law.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:40 pmThe 20-somethings with whom I work, the gaggle of gossiping, back-biting gals, who talk about their husband and boyfriends as if they are total morons, give me another reason everyday to be grateful I was born gay. (Sometimes more than one reason.)
In their defense, however, a guy has to let them get away with behaving that way.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:49 pmPeople,
On the accounts of various Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence experts, fully immersive virtual reality sex, that is good enough to compete with the real thing, may be just 15 years away.
Male ingenuity will defeat Bridezilla bitchiness, in good time.
When that happens, combined with a world that by than has a lot more Muslims than today, spoiled Western women will have their chickens come home to roost.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:50 pmummm…I counted. I own 17 pairs of shoes. But. But! In my defense, I paid for six of them (three pair of hiking boots in the last 20ish years [the old ones are kept around for lawn mowing duty], one pair of climbing shoes, one pair of tennis shoes and one pair of dress shoes), the rest were hand me downs. My dad has the same size feet I do, well, actually his are a little bigger but he wore the same size shoe I do for years and that f’d up his feet, so recently he gave me all his shoes/boots and bought new ones that actually didn’t hurt his feet. So I have three nice pair of cowboys boots, an extra pair of “good” leather hiking boots, and a pair of work boots and a pair of tennis shoes all from dad. And I’ve got five pairs of combat boots, but they were free as well. And it’s nice to have several pairs of boots to wear to work so that when one gets stinky I can switch to the next. And I keep a pair of lawn mowing boots at both my sister’s and my parents because both are known to say “Hey, while you’re here: mow the yard, please.” It’s not like I’m a shoes horse or anything.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:56 pmSuprised no one has mentioned that the absolute worst excuse for music has to be H&G. Snippits of awful stuff that changes with each scene. Non related. Melody? Harmony? Rhythm? None of the above. Heck, even rap is better….and that stuff represents (almost) the bottom of human achievement. My wife at least lets me mute the awful sound…that way I’ll tolerate that crappy stuff.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:59 pmThe Better Half and I decided years ago when we bought our house (which is over 120 years old, btw) that she could fix the inside any way she wanted to, and I would take care of the outside. Four decks, a swimming pool and multitudinous rose bushes later, I’m beginning to think she got the better end of that deal.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:05 pmBy the way, isn’t it “Shark Week”?
July 15th, 2008 at 5:08 pmMy wife has noted the self-absorbed nature of the women on HGTV. Of course, I am eternally grateful for her sweetness and good-natured common sense.
I think the reason the husbands on these shows defer to PITA wives is a) they were raised to be polite to the girl, especially in public, b) they know they will catch hell when the cameras go off if they show a stiffened spine, and c) they are trying to stave off the weaponization of nooky.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:11 pmHey, I just had an idea :
1) Educate a ‘bridezilla’ or otherwise spoiled Western woman about Islam, and the restriction it places on women. Watch documentaries on Saudi Society, honor killings, etc.
2) Educate her on how Islam is spreading in the West, and how it has a firm foothold in Europe. Show her Islamic vs. non-Islamic birthrates in Britan, France, and even Canada.
3) Quietly buy a Koran, an Islamic prayer rug, and some other Islamic literature. QUIETLY pretend that you are actually thinking about converting, or at least adopting some principles of Islam into your life.
4) Justify your new interest in Islam by saying that ‘the West is moving in that direction anyway as they are outbreeding us’, and urge your bridezilla to adapt to this imminent reality.
5) If you can handle it, actually go to the local Mosque on a Friday, and tell your bridezilla how wonderful it was.
It will scare her to her senses. Try it.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:12 pmHmmmmm.
The day prostitution is legalized across the country, is the day men stop getting married.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:17 pmAmazing. The engagement ring has the gem, the wedding band doesn’t. Always. That’s how it works. If you’re a bling-obsessed lunatic, you then have him add a three-gem eternity ring for the first anniversary or something, you don’t start sticking gemstones on the wedding band like a four-year-old with a sequin gun.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:19 pmMy wife can have all the closet space she wants as long as it doesn’t interfere with my gun-safe(s).
July 15th, 2008 at 5:25 pmI guaran-damn-tee you she is dropping at least that much at Starbucks every week without even thinking about it.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:26 pm“The day prostitution is legalized across the country, is the day men stop getting married.”
That is the wrong attitude to have. Men can’t possibly want to have kids, according to you.
Prostitution is legal in Nevada, and in Europe. According to you, you only have to move to Nevada or Europe. So why haven’t you?
Lastly, I know a couple of men who got divorced because HE didn’t want to have sex with his wife. The wife was not ugly either. The man simply had emotional/psychological challenges.
Even Teri Hatcher was married to a man who refused to have sex with her. It CAN happen.
So stop leaving unintelligent comments saying a (good) wife is still no more useful than a prostitute.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:32 pmTood,
Unfortunately, you are correct on the subject of Islam. They’ll simply outbreed us. throw in a culture that doesn’t care about itself, doesn’t want to have stable relationships, couldn’t give a shit whether the military protects them or not and I can guarantee you we will see the end of Western Civ. I work at a university, and I see this leftist horseshit all the time (want to talk about motivation to swing hard right ideologically). In fact, just a few minutes ago I just saw someone in their car in the parking lot with the bumper sticker “Bush Lied, People Died” (aw…how adorable). Of course he had Ontario licence plates, so that explains a lot. Friggin Canucks…
July 15th, 2008 at 5:37 pmFYI - $250,000 will get you a 500 square foot studio in a high floor of a walkup with no view in Hoboken, NJ.
Across the river in Manhattan (South of Harlem), you need to find a roommate and kick in more than $250,000 each for the same low-end shoebox (total cost is $500-$700k). Prices average $1,200 per square foot.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:41 pmhttp://www.millersamuel.com/reports/pdf-reports/MMO2Q08.pdf
I worked for a Middle Eastern company right when I moved to DC. Everyone who was Middle Eastern was a practicing Muslim - you know who were the scary ones? The wives! I even joked about it to one of my bosses that there is the notion that the women were weaker and he looked at me and said he had aunts that were flat out scary….
So I don’t necessarily know if that’s the way to go.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:41 pmI agree wholeheartedly with the entire post. I’m currently engaged to be married in a few months. After my fiancee and I were engaged she started watching all those wedding shows on TLC, HGTV etc. The banality of most of them almost made my eyes bleed, or reconsider having the ceremony and reception rather than eloping. However the Coup de Grace was Bridezilla. That was worse than ever watching “My Sweet Sixteen” on MTV. In fact I realized how all of the girls from my sweet sixteen were destined to turn out; as the manic, overwrought, selfish, hateful, egotistical brides to be on Bridezilla. I told my fiancee after I watched an episode that if she was to be like that (I never believed that she would) tahn I would cancel the ceremony, and that if she ever wanted me to get married than that show better never be on in the house again when I’m around. I almost broke the new TV.
On a side note, we watch House Hunters frequently, and something that has always bugged me is the repetitive usage of the word “man-room”. This is sometimes used by the men themselves, but is usually used by the woman or by the realtor. Basically the exchange goes: Woman: “Oh this dark, dank basement is perfect for your man room” (Hint: Please don’t bring yourself out in front of normal company); Man: “Yeah, great a place for all of my cool stuff.” (Hint: Please let me be). The whole exchange is usually insulting, and reminds me of a mother telling a child that one room of the house is the play room, and all toys must be kept in there.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:42 pmMy ass is looking up plane tickets as we speak.
Seriously, I wouldn’t even pay for the sex, just for the company. That’s all, just some pretty girl willing to pretend for five #$%^damned F&^%ing minutes that she enjoys my company and is genuinely interested in me.
Sigh.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:53 pmBrooke,
Those aunts were not scary enough to ditch the burqa. Plus, many Arab countries are places where women are not allowed to work, drive a car, or show even their uncovered hands in public. Whatever femimist movement exists there is not getting anywhere.
Anyway, the purpose of pretending to be interested in Islam is to scare the Bridezilla. She won’t do enough research to actually talk to real Muslim women who may have more freedom.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:54 pmI’m with you, man. I don’t know what makes some guys put up with that. We got lucky.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:56 pmLabRat sez:
That’s probably why hubby’s 9 years older than me.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:58 pmI’ve actually taken my wife out to buy shoes - she’s very difficult to fit (square 4E feet) and basically had suffered her way through life in tennis shoes that she’d wear until she ripped out the sides… and then buy the next pair.
She now has some black “low quarter” type shoes (try and find 4E pumps, just try) that actually fit her, and we’re trying to find a pair of dressier white shoes with fairly low heels as well….
Oh, and as far as the house was concerned, we both went through a lot of houses until we figured out what was important to each other… and in this house I got my railroad layout room.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:00 pmOnly thing missing is enough linen closet space. Gotta get rid of some towels or something.
I feel like telling a lot of the men that I see on HGTV to grow a set. They are complete Nancy boys. My wife gave up 500 pairs of shoes and probably 600 purses to move into my (now our) 1924 vintage bungalow. The closets are very small in our house because people back then were happy with a lot less. Some of the shows on HGTV that show the woman riding herd on the whipped husband are perfect examples of the wussification of the American male.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:03 pmMaya,
That’s not what JEREMY told me about the age difference between you two … : )
JK. He actually wanted to tell you howdy! We talked about you and hubby and your contributions to the department at advising just yesterday.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:04 pmTwo things:
1. I live in Nevada, and, by my count, less than 50 miles from a legalized brothel.
2. I used to be married to one of the HGTV-esque women.
I can tell you precisely how it is that a lot of guys end up with women like that - they’re raised to. It took seven and a half years to realize that all the crap I was fed when I was a kid about how the man must simply give the woman what they want, “make their dreams come true”, and “not be selfish” was a load of horseshit. It leads to a dissatisfied wife who has no respect for you, it leads to you being a miserable wretch, and it leads to both “partners” using every means at their disposal to get back at one another, including the pocketbook and the bedroom.
It’s not healthy.
The real key is quite simple: Do what you want to do, make sure your partner is doing what she wants to do, respect each other, and life is good. With my first wife, I had a kid - within 24 hours, we were already driving each other nuts, with her demanding that I do more around the house, stay awake when she’s awake, and me pushing back as hard as I could. By contrast, with my current significant other, we just had a child, and we couldn’t be happier. I voluntarily do nearly everything around the house, cleaning-wise, while she voluntarily does most of the kid maintenance stuff (feeding - breastfed kid, after all). She naps while I clean. I sleep at night (mostly). Both of us still have our sanity and a smile on our face.
Dear womankind: Men will move the world for you if you let them want to. The instant you make it a chore so you can have your little power trip is the instant you’ve made your husband into a stubborn ass that will only do something to help you when you nag him enough to make it more unpleasant to not do what you want than it is to leave you a frustrated, angry mess.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:04 pmPssst… Lincoln… ittybartay.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:08 pmJeff,
You ever try Zappos.com? They seem to have a nice selection of extra wide shoes.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:09 pmROFL
July 15th, 2008 at 6:12 pmHere’s exactly what I expect of Mr. M.
Come home to me everday. Preferably in one piece.
Bring money on the first day of every month to help pay bills.
You know how much.
Love the children and discipline them when needed.
Teach the short man how to be a good, strong and true man.
Everything else is incidental and open for negotiation (except for “Cold Case Files” and “South Park”. I am addicted to those stupid shows).
I don’t need to win on small stuff. I already won when I got Mr. M. 19 1/2 years ago.
You’re laughing and calling bullshit, or possibly gagging. That’s okay.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:13 pmI wouldn’t believe me either.
Lincoln,
Thanks - just hit it, unfortunately when I put in 4E (any size, any heel, any price) it came up with black & brown shoes… some of which looked remarkably like the ones she now has.
BTW, anyone else think it’s ironic that “Date my Ex-” is one of the banner ads running across the top of this post?
July 15th, 2008 at 6:18 pmStephen W. Stanton:
Wow. $250,000 in DFW will get you quite a NICE house.
I spent less than half of that on my house several years ago - almost 2,500 sf (4 bed, 2 1/2 bath, nice neighborhood with plenty of kids, creek lot. My house is midsize for my neighborhood, and I live in one of the nicer suburbs of Dallas. I bought it as a single mom on an admin’s salary. My mortgage company qualified me for over $170,000, but:
1) I didn’t need that much house and
2) I’m not stupid.
I have family in CA and at one time in my life would have loved living there - but I knew if I did that I’d never be able to afford a house.
On the Bridezillas…why not just go to Vegas? That’s what my husband and I did. I found a beautiful little chapel off the strip that provided everything one needs for a wedding. Our friends and family flew in on vacation. We were picked up by a limo, service was by a minister, photographer and videographer were provided. The makeup/hair guy came to my hotel room and did a fabulous job.
The entire trip plus wedding cost less than $2,000. And we stayed in the Venetian - most beautiful hotel room I’ve ever been in.
The most stressful part was doing the research online and making the decision without seeing the place first. Thankfully, it was exactly as portrayed.
Have done the regular “wedding” thing. Believe me, it’s not worth the stress. Doing Vegas was MUCH easier. I highly recommend it to anyone considering marriage.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:22 pmI’d like to add that I grew up with misconceptions of my own too. I always thought women wanted romance in a relationship more than anything, and that looks to them didn’t matter so much as personality did, since they weren’t visually oriented.
God in heaven what a heaping compost pile of steamy gooey bullshit that turned out to be. To most American women today, men are expected to be nothing more than a chiseled body operating as a sperm donor and a bank account.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:25 pmHere you go, guys … the best philosophy ever, if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life … !
Because, as felicity says, there’s always a song.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:27 pmClosets? People are worried about closet space? Try driving through your average middle-class neighborhood on a Saturday morning when the garage doors are open. Most American families have the garage so thoroughly crammed with crap, they can’t get a car inside. And then they go out and rent a storage locker for all the junk they neither use nor even think about. Or have a walk through your local WalMart. Try to identify something that won’t be in the county landfill within a year. I dare’s ya.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:27 pmHitchin’ Post and then the Coeur d’ Alene Casino!
Yeah, baby!
July 15th, 2008 at 6:31 pm14k: I ain’t laughing. That’s about how my rationale goes, except for the kids, since we haven’t any. For item 3 I’d have probably substituted “treat me with the same kindness and respect I treat you with”, but I don’t actually have to tell him that.
Mutual respect and mutual affection would appear to be rarer things than anyone would like to imagine.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:33 pmI call bullshit on this. For one, I have found all liberal women to be butt-baggy-shag f’ugly, so in essence this song is telling me I should marry a liberal.
And this is good for me…. how again?
July 15th, 2008 at 6:34 pmMany years ago I was trying to sell my old beat-up car. I asked $350 and was willing to take $200 for it (this was 1977). A radical feminist looked at it and offered $200, which would have been OK, but I tried to negotiate and she wouldn’t budge.
OK then, and I walked away. The principle that I wasn’t going to be a doormat meant more than the $200. Finally she relented and we made a deal at $215. BFD.
Moral is that in any transaction (business, romance, whatever), the party who cares less always wins. Men are getting to care less and less with each passing day.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:35 pmIndeed. Look at this sample of left-wing women vs. normal women. It is almost as though nature created leftists to weed waste matter out of the gene pool.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:36 pmDear Lincoln,
As a member of the female liberal species, I take offense at that. You have no idea if I’m pretty or not. Besides, whether or not I’m pretty doesn’t mean a damn thing when I’m trying to prove my point. Besides, I’ll take looking like Scarlett Johansson any day over looking like Ann Coulter.
XOXO
July 15th, 2008 at 6:42 pmBrooke
Paules made an *excellent* point about how people have so much stuff. My husband tries to tell me that we have too much stuff for our 1450 sq. ft. home (and we have about 2500 sq. ft. of garage space) and I call bullshit on a regular basis. We have what we have and we make our stuff fit the space. Why we have turned into a mass consumer society is beyond me.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:44 pm@Brooke: Physical appearance is not the only criteria by which I define beauty, so nyah nyah nyah. =P
July 15th, 2008 at 6:45 pmLincoln, I’ll donate toward the airfare for your Nevada trip to the “ittybartay” if it will bring back your sense of humor.
Dude, you need to get laid. SRSLY.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:50 pmI’ve been deploring the confusion of gender relations my whole life. How the heck are guys supposed to act anyway? Do they open the door or not, do they pay, or not…WTF. I’m glad I’m not a guy! However, finding a guy, now that I’m over 40, who isn’t broken, whipped to death, or barely breathing has become a comical farce with tragic overtones. And the sad thing is, I can empathise their plight.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:56 pmAmen to that! I would be disgusted by living with a eunuch ground under my boot heel and would dump his ass post-haste. You can probably tell I prefer a challenge in life. A “stepford husband” would bore the hell out of me. Whiny ass girly boy fathers produce worthless disrespectful shitstain sons.
I married a partner who was a man, because I want a partner who is and will continue to be a man.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:58 pmI used to work with prostitutes, and apparently your attitude isn’t that uncommon. About 30-40% of their clients didn’t want sex, they wanted a hug and/or someone to talk to. Particularly the 35+ age range.
I kind of see why, now.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:59 pmPfffft, I’ve gone 31 years without getting laid, and I’m doing just fine and dandy in this comfy padded room those nice folks in white were kind enough to give me.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:01 pmLincoln/David Colborne
I live in Nevada too and pass three brothels on my commute to work each day. Since I am in a good marriage, they are neither an option nor desirable to me, but if I weren’t I would be daunted by the cost. According to the local papers, business is off these days, but it’s still an expensive proposition.
On the other hand, the value of the first time may be worth it.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:05 pmBrook, physically I see little different between Ann Coulter or ScarJo… and neither of them actually hold much interest for me.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:07 pmBoy, am I lucky! We and most of our couple friends have been married to our first spouses forever, and all had small weddings. Ours might have been the largest, with about 9 people present.
When it came time to build a house to replace the shack that we lived in (the acreage came first!), we couldn’t decide on a plan, so we built the barn first. The house came 3 or 4 years later, and the barn STILL comes first. Remodeled a bit, she now has a woodshop instead of horse stalls.
We’ll be going camping this w/e at an antique tractor/engine show and will celebrate 44 years while there. Dinner will be hotdogs, beer later.
Ask me again if I still love her!
July 15th, 2008 at 7:17 pmSpeaking of why men don’t want to get married, I found this gem on ajc.com last night.
http://www.ajc.com/health/content/shared-blogs/ajc/parenting/entries/2008/07/13/why_my_husbands.html
July 15th, 2008 at 7:29 pmMy wife has lived in this country for 5 years and says she can’t understand how anyone in their right mind would marry an American woman. I tell her the thought never crossed my mind.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:36 pm1) 14k: tell Jeremy Hi from us next time you see him
2)we had to sacrifice quite a bit of both of our worldly possesions to move across the country, but good thing I only have the OCCASIONAL irrational attachment to inanimate objects. Because of this, we had to buy lots of furniture to fill up the house, and we can fit one car in the 2-car garage. The other stall holds the lid to the Jeep.
3) the discussion of marrying a man, not a pretty face got me thinking of my friend talking about how lucky I was to have a hubby who could (and likes to) do the fix-it stuff around the house.
4) This thread has really proven very useful in my whole outlook on married life. Thank you to all the honest guys here saying what worked and didn’t work in your lives!
July 15th, 2008 at 7:38 pmDude! You must have forearms like Popeye and a grip that could crush a full can of Schlitz! GO TO VEGAS!
July 15th, 2008 at 7:43 pmOT
Sunny’s head may swell up even bigger. She’s on Icanhashotdog
July 15th, 2008 at 7:55 pmCharity begins at RCHL’S!
Send donations to RCHL’s Paypal account in care of:
Operation GET LINCOLN LAID!
July 15th, 2008 at 7:56 pmSend me money or I’ll die (a virgin)
July 15th, 2008 at 8:00 pmYou know what I hate most of all on TV shows? Sassy women. God, I LOATHE that all these women are supposed to be ’sassy’ and the guys all totally love it. Sassy in tv speak tends to mean rude as hell with absolutley no manners at all. Shut up tv. I haven’t noticed that with house hunters (although totally agree with the ‘would you like to see the yard?’ rant), but this is true of lots of shows. Hell, look at the sex and the city movie. I need a giant closet, big. Destroy an entire room so I can have one that is just for me. Shut up Carrie.
The mere fact that bridezilla’s exists is enough to hate it.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:16 pmI am single. Have several pets. We like each other and get along smashingly. Truly don’t need the headaches that a wife brings. Plus it cost me a small fortune to divorce the first one - don’t want to do that again.
I used to collect things, but when a coworker pointed out that collecting is a form of mental illness, and I looked at it in that light, I sold all my stuff on eBay.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:18 pmOh hell — Maggie’s gonna have to kill something now to get Rachel’s attention …!
July 15th, 2008 at 8:25 pmYou forgot the other HH set up. Just had a kid with a 2000+ square foot house and now she thinks they need to move on to something bigger? My god, how did humans reproduce and raise children in those tiny NYC apartments for most of the 20th Century? [Insert HomeDepot ad here: My wife thinks….]
July 15th, 2008 at 8:30 pmA soulmate. I love you.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:36 pmI heart Rachel Lucas.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:10 pmI think this whole conversation, in a wierd way, has something to do with Hollywood/Mass Media. I think it must have happened in the 1970s. All of a sudden, men were supposed to be “pretty”, and women were no longer allowed to be, well, women. We’ve all seen it, the heroes in the movies may be all buffed out, but they’ve shaved all they’re body hair off. And the heroines can kick the crap out of any guy around. These emasculated guys and brides from hell are about the right age to have grown up being bombarded with these kind of images. Actually, I kind of feel sorry for them. When I was a boy - born 1957 - my heroes were my Dad (only saw him cry once, when his mom died), A.J. Foyt and the Marlboro man. You young men (18 to 25) out there, be like Rupert! Join up and become a man! Maybe you’ll attract a “Wachel” some day.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:13 pm