So does it catch on fire if you try to buy pork chops with it?
Because regular debit cards just aren’t good enough for Islam:
MasterCard Worldwide and EonCap Islamic Bank (a member of Malaysia’s Eon Bank Group) have jointly launched what they are billing as the world’s first Islamic debit MasterCard—the EonCap Islamic Debit MasterCard.
The EonCap Islamic Debit MasterCard is basically a debit card with ATM functions as well. It also works on PayPass systems, which enables a person to swipe it on a terminal without the card leaving the cardholder’s hand. It is referred to as blending traditional purchasing power with modern technology and is Shari’ah compliant.
“It is designed to appeal to both Muslim and non-Muslim individuals who prefer better financial control as the card ensures that purchases are automatically deducted from the cardholder’s account and approved only if enough funds exist within the account. It helps track spending, comes with worldwide acceptance at more than 26 million locations and can be used at an ATM for e-banking,” says Fozia Amanulla, chief executive officer of Eoncap Islamic Bank.
“MasterCard is pleased to collaborate with Eoncap Islamic Bank in order to introduce this card to Malaysian consumers. The EonCap Islamic Debit MasterCard card is designed for individuals who prefer to spend what they have in their accounts, yet seek the same functionality and assurances of a credit card,” said Shuan Ghaidan, head of product sales and delivery, Asia-Pacific at MasterCard Worldwide.
I’m not a particularly intelligent person, nor a debit card expert nor a banker, so maybe I’m missing something but can someone please explain to me like I’m 4 years old exactly how the Islamic Debit Mastercard is different from every other debit card on the planet? Because my bank’s basic Infidel Debit Visa Card does precisely the same things. It’s like cash, only without other people’s germs on it.
And I would like very much to know in some detail how a debit card can be compliant with Shari’ah law. Does it send an electronic notification to your local imam if you buy womens’ clothing that doesn’t cover wrists and ankles? Do they monitor your account to ensure you regularly buy wife-beating implements? I shudder to think of the repercussions if you swipe it to pay for a package of pork weiners.
My friend Nicki has all these questions and others because she is smarter than me. One I didn’t think of is, “Does it assure no Jews are involved in the banking transactions?” I bet she pronounced that Joos in her head when she typed it. Also:
Here’s why I get this itchy, uncomfortable feeling. Electronic financial transactions have this tendency to be easy and convenient for threat financing. It is estimated that only $10,000 was needed to carry out the attacks on US embassies abroad.
Take for example eBay and PayPal. Terrorist could establish accounts, fictitiously sell merchandise on eBay and transfer small amounts of money, less than $3,000, via PayPal. These transactions spread across three or four accounts would be enough to fund another embassy-scale terrorist attack. This non-traditional means of transferring money is the most difficult to detect, monitor and trace.
And if confronted by law enforcement authorities about possible suspicious activities within their banks, are these “Sharia compliant” banks going to hide behind religious freedoms to withhold information about possible threat financing?
Excellent question and now I’m dying of curiosity about this thing. Maybe one of you can think of any other reasons they need Shari’ah-compliant debit cards that work exactly the same way as all other debit cards.
Also maybe someone (you know who you are) will make a funnier credit card image than I did. I went for the obvious, Islamic Rage-Boy, but surely there’s a better way. Just don’t provoke any outrage and get a fatwa called on me.
There is a lot of Islamic law that deals with financial transactions and debt financing. I’m not an expert, but essentially they are prohibited from being involved in a transaction that charges interest. This leads to structuring transactions in a number of different ways to charge interest, without calling it interest. Also, I think that sharia compliant transactions have to be approved by some sort of religious authority, like a council. Typically, these boards don’t exercise a lot of influence in the deal. I don’t really know how this ties into debit cards though…
UPDATE:
http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/shariah-compliant-credit-cards-1273.php
This link has a lot more info on actual Shariah compliant credit cards. Related to the debit card issue and it does appear that certain purchases would be prohibited.
August 8th, 2008 at 3:55 pm“So does it catch on fire if you try to buy pork chops with it?” No, it screams Allahua akhbar and tries to cut your head off.
August 8th, 2008 at 3:55 pmMike the Grate Says:
This brings up images of some midget Imam sitting inside the ATM, approving ur transakshuns!
August 8th, 2008 at 4:10 pmMost of your debit cards these days will actually let you overdraft your bank account a bit without disapproving the transaction. That automatically results in a charge to you, which I suppose is considered interest on the borrowing of money, which is prohibited by Islamic law.
Don’t be so quick to condemn it… ought to make it easier to track the people we need to track!
August 8th, 2008 at 4:11 pmFeatures of the new Sharia compliant Mastercard:
August 8th, 2008 at 4:14 pm-it’ll send an automatic message to your mullah telling him you’ve been condemned to Hell if you buy alcohol.
-ditto if you have any purchases at a Jewish delicatessen.
-when buying women’s clothes online, it’ll automatically order you a veil to go with your outfit.
-if you’re Saudi, your gas purchase is free.
-all those charges down at the strip club are listed as annonymous transactions so your wives won’t catch you.
-in Vegas chapels, they offer a deal “pay for 3 weddings, get the 4th free!”
-will be unable to purchase food with the card between sunup and sundown during Ramadan.
-if you order “The Satanic Verses” from Amazon, the card will instead order you “The Sayings of the Ayatollah Khomeni”…..and send a message to your mullah telling him you’ve been condemned to Hell.
-free tailoring with any vest purchase, though no credit if merchandise is returned damaged.
Islamic Rage Boy! Oh how I adore his insane visage.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:17 pmPatHMV said what I was just thinking, now we can track ‘em better! Has anybody seen the Armys new MQ-9 Reaper drone (UAV)? They won’t either!
August 8th, 2008 at 4:19 pmI can see the commercial now…
White martyr’s robe soon to be covered with the blood of the infidels? 24000 dinars.
Blank videotape for recording last Will & Testament…and the season finale of ‘So You Think You Can Dance?’ in case mission gets postponed? 2500 dinars.
Do-It-Yourself Splodey Dope Vest w/Matching Belt (As Seen On QVC Al Jazeera)? 297000 dinars.
Accidentally falling down the stairs and prematurely, but hilariously sending yourself to meet Allah? Priceless.
There are some things that money can’t buy, for everything else there’s Mastercard. NOW SHARI’AH COMPLIANT!
August 8th, 2008 at 4:28 pmIslamic Rage Boy…
Is he shouting or just making the symbol of Obama with his mouth???
August 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pmG Fresh: that’s an awesome story.
Rachl Lukis: I can’t quit you. This was an excellent post.
PS, you said you DON’T want a fatwa? I guess that means the Mo-ham-head cartoon is out then. Plus, if you got a Fatwa before Misha, you could totally hold it over his head for a long, long time. He would be utterly fluorescent with jealousy.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:36 pmPut up a warning next time! I just snorted Diet Coke all over my keyboard from my nose! It HURTS!!
August 8th, 2008 at 4:38 pmI want a card with the background a picture of bacon, and over it, the word “Infidel” in Arabic.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:48 pmBut will the card buy 72 virgins?
August 8th, 2008 at 4:52 pmI just have to get one of those, I’ve started a shopping list:
Pork Rinds
Dried Pigs Ears for Dog Chew Toys
Beer, lots of it
A Star of David
Kosher pickles
I want me some of that Fatwa action.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:52 pmThere are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s Mastercard (or Visa, in the first one) : )
August 8th, 2008 at 4:54 pmAnother example of pure Rachel wit. Priceless!
August 8th, 2008 at 5:21 pmHow about a series of cards with those Dutch Mohammed cartoons? (I’d try it in Photoshop, but my skills are strictly limited to the bowstaff.)
August 8th, 2008 at 5:22 pmDude, there are plenty of nice, moderate muslims out there who will be happy to have this, for the very reason a commenter made above — no interest. They don’t want debt, overdrafts, etc.. It sounds like it checks to make sure you have the money (instead of just approving it and making you go into debt).
There are also home loans that follow sharia law, too.
Gah. Don’t get my happy panties all in a wad. Today is a happy day.
August 8th, 2008 at 5:35 pmBut will the card buy 72 virgins?
Depends on the amount of your overdraft protection….
14 K, I am once again in awe.
August 8th, 2008 at 5:59 pmI’m sorry, Silvermine, it’s still ridiculous, even for all those nice moderate Muslims. Did you read the creditcard.com link posted above? They go through all sorts of twisted mechanisms to charge the fees in a way that’s not technically “interest” according to most interpretations of the Koran, but still is, ultimately, a significant fee for the use of somebody else’s money for a period of time. For example, one card described technically buys the item you’re purchasing during the transaction, and then automatically sells it to you for a higher cost, a “profit” rather than “interest.” Some of them charge stiffer annual “fees” rather than “interest.”
All (except the ones that only decline to authorize transactions which are over the current account balance) are nothing more than a lawyerly mechanism to do that which is actually forbidden. From a religious viewpoint, this is bad, because one really shouldn’t try to out-lawyer God (however you pronounce his name). From a secular viewpoint, this is bad, because all these circumlocutions actually raise the overall cost of such cards and make economic transactions more expensive.
Some Jews go through similar circumlocutions to avoid performing “work” on the Sabbath. They have phones where dialing them interrupts an electrical circuit rather than completes such a circuit, etc. They’re certainly free to do this (just as the Muslims are free to use financial services catering to their beliefs, however odd I think them), but it’s fundamentally silly, and I think it cheapens rather than strengthens their religion and faith.
August 8th, 2008 at 6:11 pmawesome 14k.
I’m still stuck on human rights violations, so my creations aren’t so cheery:
August 8th, 2008 at 6:12 pmDon’t forget the lard, spiral-sliced ham, matzoh, and shrimp.
August 8th, 2008 at 6:40 pmThe sight of Islamic Rage Boy triggers my Arachnid Reflex. I get the same crawly feeling in the skin on the back of my neck, and I instinctively start searching for a phone book the size of a Volkswagen with which to squash him like the hairy, poisonous spider he is.
August 8th, 2008 at 6:53 pmGoatses everywhere.
August 8th, 2008 at 7:27 pmFine, you may not want one yourself, but if some people think it helps them, more power to them. Yay capitalism!
Get over yourselves.
I mean, I love ya Wachel, but not all muslims are evil.
And dammit, despite feeling like a truck ran me over (illness) this is the best f-ing day ever, because a California court upheld freedom and choice and happiness and goodness. Yay!
Homeschooling is still legal in CA, now with a wonderful precedent for future court cases:
August 8th, 2008 at 7:32 pmhttp://www.hslda.org/hs/state/ca/B192878A.pdf
Ummm sorry to tell you this, but I think the Saddest Bee already has that underway.
August 8th, 2008 at 7:40 pmDouble Dammit! Our IT guys are in my office telling me to log off — they’re taking our system down for the weekend so no Photoshop — I have a great idea for a credit card and no way to make it!
Unless someone knows of a fake card generator link ; )
Next week, people, next week [evil grin].
Rachel, I love that card you made. It is fargin’ awesome!
EDIT: Triple dammit — now I wanna Goatse Islamac Rage Boy …. aaarrggghh!
August 8th, 2008 at 7:52 pmPat, this will NOT make it easier to track them. It will make it more difficult, because they’ll be able to hide behind the veil of religious freedom (no pun intended) and hinder law enforcement investigations.
August 8th, 2008 at 8:31 pmI love my infidel debit card!
August 8th, 2008 at 10:45 pmTully,
[Deep curtsey]
Ah have ahlways rahlied on the kahndness uv strangerz.
Or friends I have not yet met.
I want to comment on your most noteworthy blog, which I visit daily, but as I told Pat am truly concerned that my base nature may usurp my intellectual commentary abilities. Which would be a tragedy of comic proportions.
Thoughts?
In the interim, pleez slap up a faux-card of your own right here! I would love to see your take on this subject, given your capacity. Rapier wit on your site, my friend. Rapier!
August 8th, 2008 at 11:16 pmIt’s also got a sharpened edge so you can use it as a box cutter.
August 9th, 2008 at 1:34 amMy sleepy attempt at a couple cards, zzz
August 9th, 2008 at 2:03 amRachel are you STILL posting that all muslims are evil? I thought I told you never to do that again.
August 9th, 2008 at 7:51 amYour title to this post rocks! Rachel, you’re a doggone funny woman. ROFL!!
August 9th, 2008 at 10:04 amFor “moderate”, I think we can fairly safely read “hypocritical”, inasmuch as these cards and other so-called “Islamic” financial instruments use, essentially, a replication of the old ‘Contractum Trinius’ dodge to charge-something-that-is-not-interest-but-which-has-exactly-the-same-financial-effect instead of interest. The Christian church didn’t care for it much the first time around, either.
There are similar fudges used to get around the prohibition in trading in risk, too. (Gambling, you see.)
Me, I have to admit I’m with the Islamic hard-liners, here. If they want to strictly follow the law of God, they should go ahead and eliminate all interest-bearing instruments and risk-trades: i.e, loans, mortgages, credit lines, shares, bonds, derivatives, insurance, etc., etc., etc., etc. from their economies.
I mean, sure, it’ll plunge them back into the dark night of a permanent and ever-deepening recession compared to the entire rest of the world, but what is a man profited if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?
August 9th, 2008 at 11:04 amFrom the link above: The purchase of alcohol, tobacco, gambling, pork, and sexually-related items are forbidden…..and: The bank must also follow certain restrictions. “To qualify as Shariah-compliant, a financial institution must have an internal review board of experts in Islamic law to certify that its banking products and practices conform with Shariah principles,” says Riley.
I’m amazed that any financial institution would be willing to conform to any religion in its daily operations. Humor aside (and the comments ARE funny), it is a direction that is worrisome in terms of creeping islamization.
August 9th, 2008 at 1:02 pmOff-topic:
Bernie Mac just died.
RIP
August 9th, 2008 at 1:28 pmYou surely are more gifted at “nuance” than I, silvermine. I completely missed the part where Rachel declared all Muslims evil. You must be so smart!
August 9th, 2008 at 4:52 pmROFLMAO. Islamic Rage Boy, camels, goats, etc. Too funny.
August 9th, 2008 at 7:55 pmMuslims aren’t evil. Islam is evil. There’s a difference.
August 10th, 2008 at 5:27 amOh geeze…. the question isn’t whether or not muslims are evil. The question was why the hell do they need special debit cards that are supposedly “compliant” with their religious dogma, even though most debit cards do exactly the same thing?
The reason I’m uncomfortable with this is because ATM cards do provide such an easy way to threat financing, and the institutions can use the “religious freedom” excuse to avoid investigation! SHEESH!
Neither Rachel nor I mentioned anything about the evil of friggin’ Islam, ferpetessake! Why is it that people must find something to bitch about?
August 10th, 2008 at 1:33 pmGFresh and 14k…!!!!! Those were awesome
Rachel you nailed it.
What will happen if they try to purchase dog food or purchase a dog from the SPCA? hehehe
August 10th, 2008 at 2:24 pm“I mean, sure, it’ll plunge them back into the dark night of a permanent and ever-deepening recession compared to the entire rest of the world,
August 9th, 2008 at 11:04 am”
That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.
August 10th, 2008 at 6:08 pmXD The suicide bomber cat is hilarious!!! Loves it! So very very funny!
August 10th, 2008 at 6:14 pmYou know I’ve read Rachel’s post three times and I still can’t seem to find where she says that Muslims are evil…can someone help me out?
Love the site Rachel…
August 10th, 2008 at 8:28 pmI want to nominate Charybdis E Scylla for the next commenting award. That was too funny!
August 11th, 2008 at 10:06 amThe Obama phenomenon shows how easy the anti-christ will fool the public and gain power. This shows one way he could exercise virtually complete control over society (mark of the beast).
September 7th, 2008 at 12:19 am