If it were later than 12:16 p.m. and if I had eaten anything yet today, I would take a double shot of whiskey right now. I might do it anyway because any negative repercussions from that would have to be better than feeling every ounce of pain I’m enduring today.
I am doing my taxes.
And […]
Companies who give much MUCH better deals to brand-new customers than to longtime established customers. That is bullshit.
Specifically, the cell phone people, running their racket. God how I hate them.
I’ve been with Sprint since 1999. Never paid a day late in those almost-10 years.
So several months ago, I was at […]
After hours of holding on the phone with American Airlines, Rupert finally got us on planes back home. Just not the same planes. I got on a flight from St. Louis to freakin’ Minneapolis of all places (just a little bit out of the way), then to DFW, and Rupert went from St. […]
Rupert and I made “white chili” for dinner tonight. No that’s not chili for honkies, it’s chili made with chicken and corn and beans. Yeehaw! It also requires lots of chopped onions, but Rupert has severe eye issues when he chops onions so I do it.
So I merrily chopped away; I love […]
I just got a pair of these:
And will probably die on them.
It’s all Cesar Milan’s fault. I see him on TV, rolling around on these things with 47 dogs pulling him and yapping along, and I want that in my life. Except with only two dogs.
Mademoiselle Margaret Von Fluffybutts - call […]
I went to the mall again today, like the fool that I am. Oh but I didn’t stop there, no, I followed up the mall-death-hell with a visit to Costco, then to Target, yes that’s right TARGET, and then the Goodwill store, then the bank, and then to reward myself for my awesome survivor […]
That kid from South Park who, when he gets overwhelmed, rubs his fists together and paces up and down halls - that’s me right now. Oh my GOD, I am freaking out. There’s so much shit to do before the trip to Italy, I just don’t even know. Rupert made us […]
I usually hate winter, and usually want to DIE by about Thanksgiving. Yeah I know that’s not even winter, shut up. Winter to me starts the first day it goes below 60 degrees F. I spent six soul-crushing winters in Minnesota when I was a teenager so I’ve paid my dues, I know […]
I have an itch in the middle of my back, located within the ONE SQUARE INCH that I can’t reach. It’s been there all morning and I am ready to start killin’. Because this is the kind of itch that requires firm, intense, fingernail action. A pen or other household implement will […]
Another blow to the laws of physics:
LONDON (Reuters) - Obesity does not result simply from over-eating and a lack of exercise, but is a consequence of modern life, a British government think-tank said on Wednesday.
Weight gain does not result from people’s actions — such as over-indulgence or laziness — alone, and is a far more […]
It’s a beautiful day here in North Texas, the sun shining and the breeze gentle, the thermometer reading a sublime 80.1 degrees (F). I wish to sit out on my back patio during a break from work, to blog from my laptop in a decadent relaxed manner while I enjoy the sublime gifts […]
Bwahahaha.
Yeah, the Cowboys played shitty in the first half; didn’t exactly do “bad things” to Buffalo as I predicted - unless you count winning the game.
5-0, suckas!
I believe this calls for a heartfelt ‘boo-yah’.
So I’m renting this house, right, this house which has caused me blisters already, and the fun never ends. I haven’t even told you about how half the interior doors won’t close because, in my scientific opinion, the foundation is cracking because of the ground being constantly saturated beneath it and then drying up, […]
The more education one has, the more likely one follows professional football. While three in five (60%) of those with a post grad degree follow football, 45 percent of those with a high school degree or less follow it.
Bwahahaha. That is for a certain ASSHOLE I once knew whose favorite thing to say about […]
Rupert and I finally got sick of our crappy TV this weekend and bought a new one, and it is so awesome that I want to have its babies. We’re talking 37 inches of pure LCD flat-panel high-definition SWEETNESS. I watched football on it all day yesterday and I still don’t even know […]
